These words have not materialized upon my tongue but I have put words into various compilations to create vile, godless statements and things that would thoughtfully make me feel better but would not make the world better. I have spent hours verbally telling myself to stop. To stop thinking. To stop analyzing, to stop the false predictions of my deceitful heart.
I try constantly to be one step ahead of the game but my rebukes create deeper holes and more wrongs than they do satisfaction and grace. In fact those last two items never exist rightfully or wholly or holy in anyway.
We are constantly seeking fruit. We are constantly seeking nothing but the reward or the good that we tend to numb ourselves out of the hard work and ships that shape us into who we have been created to be. Blaming symptoms of afluenza and other blinding, earthly, materialistic lifestyles.
YOLO.
Yes to living once. So how will we leave our marks? Can and will it be anything compared to the cross, the blood stained upon it or the nails and scars that signify grace and forgiveness? Will the marks be or love and humility of serving the Lord and not ones self?
I've been sitting in the cold now for a few longer periods and I have been finding more and more that these things that run through my head are things that have been suppressed and held back building in ammunition and false strength. Reflections of a past that can't be changed while looking at what doesn't even exist for tomorrow. Who does God want me to be? VS Who does this earth want me to be?
This road isn't easy nor is it meant to be victorious in social status or material wealth. Rather we are meant to be poor servants who are undeniably rich beyond words and worldly possessions. It doesn't mean we are going to walk without threat of destruction either. In fact, we walk right into point blank line of fire with in this war with what we seek.
So then why try and be God and predict what will happen? Why try to prevent by trying to plan ahead instead of simply asking for guidance and humbly accepting direction from the countless opportunities that He puts within your life on a daily basis. Whether it even be a child, there is reason behind it and it is crucial to seek these little moments because the biggest perspectives come from those little spaces in the time you spend to acknowledge them.
