There are a few things I would like to admit here:
1. Social Media is something I struggle with often and am continually being sobered to this reality.
2. Reading has never been my nitch. I have struggled with it longer than I can remember and if I could read at a faster pace, I'm sure I would enjoy it more.
3. By the time I sit down to open a book, I am passed out because I am so tired. How???
4. I often struggle to retain information from text because I am very much a hand on experiential learner.
This book, however, has been very convicting. Not in a sense that I feel like I should be pursuing building and running a house for 700 orphans but very much feel as though I had not been pursuing seeking the Lords wisdom and leaning on his will and his will alone for mine and Austin's life.All this to say in the midst of seeking continual support financially as we have gone down to a single income while Austin devotes his time and efforts to getting his nursing degree these next 2 years, I have felt panicked that it has fallen on my shoulders to provide when in reality it is indeed GOD who is the provider.
Through out George's life he never approached or even ASKED ANYONE to give money or provide for him but would continually go to the LORD with his needs and it has been astounding to see what glory and testimony the Lord brought through this mans life that God truly is living and breathing among us! He prompts us and those around us! He is so delighted and proud of the service we, his children, bring to cultivate and bring Heaven to earth.
But why has it taken me sooooooooo loooooong to only literally get to chapter 22 of this only 237 page book? Because I have felt a little bit stuck. Don't read me wrong. I feel much fulfillment and joy from what I have been actively serving with Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries! I am also not saying that God is calling me away from this ministry and serving full time!
 |
| A team from SROM praying over a fellow teammate. |
That has been made very clear to me through this transition of working remotely from Riverton while Austin is in school. The support both within the ministry and far from my support team has been incredibly encouraging.
I have felt a bit stuck because I feel like God wants me to take a further step out in faith physically in my continual journey of building this temple he has given me for the Holy Spirit. It has been almost a year since I have begun from scratch and have been rather ginger in recovering and seeking correction for my neck and back. It has been a continual 1 step forward 2 steps back down the lader of growth and improvement.
I am dealing with lazy addictions to processed sugar and social media that have shown to be much harder to kick than I ever imagined. I've done research! Both these items are as addictive as COCAINE!
My point being that I have been seeking the Lord not only for his provisions and healing over my body, but also direction on how I can best glorify HIM through this recover process and grow a continual public testimony to his provisions in my life to help as many on this earth both next door and with neighbors around the world. I want so badly for the Lord to use me more and more as he continual sharpens and refines me!
I keep coming back to a life poored out entirely for him and the constant surrender and laying down or lifting these physical or financial burdens to him daily.
Needless to say this is still a huge area of prayer for me and yes the conversation that my husband and I had over dinner last night about reading, very much, provoked deeper thought and processing on the current season of my life and what I am conversing with the Lord of how to best step out and trust in in provision and strength.
To be continued...
