Normalcy

I am stretching. I can feel the pain yet relief of what the stretch of the Lord brings into my view and perspective of where this life is leading me. Of where He continues to move me towards. Who are we and what are we meant for? And how often do we second guess ourselves because of what culture insists we become?

How many times have I thought, "when should I start looking at better PAYING jobs and go in that (what seems) boring path of predictability"? 

How many times have I been told that what I am doing is bazaar, thoughtless, crazy, selfish, pointless, unimportant, and off direction from what normalcy is? How many times can I be told that it is time to grow up?

How many times can I be asked why I ride my bike up huge hills and torture my body in such ways for people and places I've never even seen? Why do people who have known me for what seems like so long honestly ask me as if they don't know me at all, "what do you do when you get to hills? Why would you ever do something like that"?...Really?

...Really?

Have I miss represented myself in a way that everyone is confused and perhaps thinks I am a fraud? or maybe it is because we are all blinded in one way or another by various things in our own lives that steals focus from what is true, pure and honest. Perhaps another angel would be more suitable. Perhaps this is Humility.

I am not in it for "fame" I am not in it for bragging rights or seeing if I can really do it. It's not about me. But a perk is that it brings me joy to suffer for those who don't have freedom to have a voice. To dream openly and allow themselves to fully surrender to a true God. My God. That what my legs have been shaped into by God Himself can help bring someone near and far learn His sons name and bring them one step closer to the growing Kingdom.

Praise the Lord oh my soul.

My Dad once said that he was rather let down that I didn't seem very passionate about what I've been doing and who I've been doing these things for... Clearly he was being sarcastic.

How'd I Get So Blessed?

We follow old giants instead of the ground. Creation and natural disaster has become our path. But this way is healthy. Abiding by no earthly law. For we do not belong to this earth. We are our Fathers children. Hops, Skips and jumps into discoveries unknown.

These trails are unlike anything we've ever seen. In the same ways the paths of our lives surprise us in the same ways. Not being able to fathom what these things look like to be able to comprehend even the smallest rain drop hitting leaves before drops hit your face. Yet each glimpse that we witness, each step we take across the mossy base, we are revived and torn down. Layers peel back on the cold numb parts of our hearts like frail bits of bark lead to phloem. The deeper we dig, the deeper we dare to trek, the more we loose the meaningless and gain grace and love. The more it swells within us destroying the dead and bringing new life. This rubbish has been cluttering up my footsteps.

 I wanted to hear a good story. One that was true and one that was real deep. As I sat leaning into the inches of life and breathed it in, I heard this story through those around me in awe of what we were witnessing. My eyes are shown while my heart and soul can feel all aspects of this story. An Author telling His story in each detailed layer. The brilliance and the elegance of what He's brought us here to see of what He didn't need to show us or even create...

...And yet He wrote it into our stories. He placed it next to the anticipation in between patience and hardship. He placed it perfectly with each of us in mind.
As each rain drop falls. Every rumble of thunder, every step taken off the beaten path... How'd I get so blessed to witness such delicate glory rays? How'd we get so blessed to be placed into others lives in these important parts and places.

Ever try to put a name to a face but it doesn't seem to come and you can't remember the details? Yet being in the presence of these places and faces, it is far to hard to forget the name behind the detail, color and scent of the things He sits on and signs as His own brilliant creation. Taking all the credit that we praise, stepping back while taking it all in. Taking in every detail. Even the small things like us standing in the middle of it all seeing that it was good. Right down to the skipping hearts as the breath is stolen from each winding turn we take. Overwhelmed by presence and lack of understanding mixing and molding into the longing to know better. To love better... To seek deeper and let His love soak us to the very core leaving us saturated in grace and redemption.

Privileged

In so many ways we are privileged. Work schedules, retirement, income, lifestyles and hobbies. I believe it is a glitch in our culture to gain an understanding of what all we have a RIGHT to and what we have the PRIVILEGE to. May this be a reminder of how blessed we are and how thankful to The Lord God Almighty we should be.


- Keep adventuring.

Mind Wandering Hearts.

I have been feeling this urge to write lately but there isn't much I feel creative upon in writing. There are topics I would like to touch upon like money, the hearts mind wandering or the searing ache in my finger of where skin is absent from climbing away from various things.

Isn't it interesting how we have topics we wish to touch upon but simply feel like there isn't enough interest from other parties let alone yourself to put enough effort into explanations? It's like a good friend who you can simply sit next to and be understood instead of explaining and reexplaining your life story. But it works at the same time because you have to do the uncomfortable some times. You must seek deeper and even though skin scrapes and heart strings are plucked, it is good to speak. It is good to scream it out with the noise of the frustration of gears working in brain cells and eyes strained to make sense of it all... This life in which we can't even begin to know what will actually happen tomorrow. Does it really even exist? Not until the sun rises again. Until then I am left here sitting on a couch in California after a day of rain trekking through mud puddles on the hunt for slugs but discovered worms instead.

There are things on the horizon that I am excited to be getting you back into. And I will be posting less vague updates soon. But until then I will leave you with this bit of wordage:

Utmost:
"Think of the last thing you prayed about-were you devoted to your desire or to God? Was your determination to get some gift of the spirit for yourself or to get to God? "For your Father knows the things you have need before you ask Him"(Matthew 6:8). The reason for Asking is so you may get to know God better. "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4) We should keep praying to get a perfect understanding of God Himself."

Get ready for Round 2!

"And hide your spirit within the vine. Where all things will work by a good design"

There's a song that came into my head from a stereo speaker and a prayer this afternoon that I simply can't allow to passed by in times of various wanderings of the mind. The same happens in the most tragic and the most joyous of times. Does this even make sense? No, but when you hear something that comes along you must listen to it or try to multiple times and the more you listen the more you understand about it and the more becomes unveiled to make sense of what doesn't always make sense...Does THAT make any sense?

I am flawed, I am flawed I am flawed. I will always be flawed as much as I like to try and make things perfect. Whether with my job or relationships or this body that God has made personally for me. I am indeed flawed and will always be flawed. It's a real true thing and a realization that scares and frees you all with in the same breathe. I mess up I allow pride to get in my way a lot and I most certainly deny myself the grace I should give myself and others a lot. It doesn't mean that I don't eventually come to the realization of these flaws. I do and I feel at times there is a moment when I feel and learn that the less time I let pass by holding onto it and just let it go the more I wish I had just let it go.

Do you ever listen to songs on repeat? Sometimes the combination of word expression mixed with chords and truth is just too good to move onto the next selection. So you click the button that brings the loop with the number 1 to the selection and as soon as it ends, it begins again and the lesson continues.

Let me show you

Undertows, Under Toes

The sea intimidates me. As I ran I saw sea kelp mangled and huge like something so alien just like this life feels at times.

As I ran through fog this morning/afternoon, I felt tense. When ever I run at the beach I tend to feel Gods wrath more than His peace at times. And I like it. It is a good reminder that He is powerful. I imagine the powerful waves sweeping me away into the abis. How the semi solid earth, sand that my bare feet sink in upon then quickly disappears into the abis, washing away in the undertow.

I feel Him creep up at my heels with cold salt water of the pacific. Urging me to pick up my feet, pick up the pace... Keep going! I couldn't see past the breakers but I could still feel Him and His overwhelming presence of never ending proof. The ocean is less real than God if you think about it. God created the sea so at one point in time it never existed. Perhaps it was a thought that became earthly reality upon the dawn of creation.

Thankful for the ability and opportunity to dream...





Keep adventuring.

Toy Boats In Bathtubs

Merriam Webster Dictionary Defines:

Surrender:

-To yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand

-To give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another

-To give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner

-To give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)

Praise:

-An expression of approval: Commendation

-Worship 

-Value, Merit

-To express a favorable Judgment: Commend

-To glorify (a god or saint) especially by the attribution of perfections

It has sunken a bit deeper than when the first time hearing the words cut me with what seemed like no reason. A complete uncalled for stab to the face. It has sunken enough to nod my head... or shake my head and keep going. Managing to keep my feet moving. Where as for the last week the trigger of it all would ignite memories and questions led to lost breath and more questions.

How could this happen? Why is it happening? There are logical things from Gods perspective. But it was something so unthought of. When you get used to things it's almost worse than it being a new pain sometimes because the severe heart ache of it all sneaks up on you and cuts you to the core leaving you gasping and hollow.

Feeling despair and bruised, these are the key moments when standing isn't necessary. Instead of fighting the urge, we should simply fall to our knees and raise our hands.

Surrender...Throw everything aside and raise your white flag and lay it at the foot of the cross. In these moments when we feel like we can't do anything... helpless. It is the most helpful thing we can do.

It's funny because it's true when we react to things we don't understand, "curve balls"..."It's not apart of the plan". Not our plan at least. But it is where we surrender from exhaustion that we realize we could have been strengthened all along instead of playing a loosing game of Tug-a-war. It is where we are laying face down before God petrified of truths but faithful in outcomes. Faithful in surrender. Many things that overwhelm constantly... But God is so much bigger than all of it.

Rejoice:

-To give joy to

-To feel joy or great delight

Lament:

-To mourn out loud

-To regret strongly

1 Peter 4:13

"But Rejoice in as much as you participate in sufferings of Christ, so that you may be over joyed when His glory is revealed".

Psalm 102:1

[ Psalm 102 ] [ Aprayer of an afflicted person who has grown weak and pours out a lament before the Lord.] Hear my prayer, Lord; let my cry for help come to you.

We mustn't give up.