Unfolding

I was sitting on my flight back from Washington making a to do list of upcoming events and tasks for the next few weeks that are quickly dwindling and wrapping up my time in California. I was wishing I could be able to do all of these things right then and there and have it all be accomplished.

But then what?

Then what would I be preparing for? How would it make me any more present instead of day dreaming?

God has such purpose in His timing and I remind myself of that on a moment to moment basis.
His timing, not mine.
His will, not mine.
His Desires, not mine.
That last one is the hardest by far. Where do our desires come from and where in this walk does it not match up with His desires? At what moment do our desires even begin to look a different shade than His desires? How do we restore those colors and slate to walking and stepping in Gods time? We've never been in control of it all so why do we desire or think that we actually are?

Let's be honest, my own personal will power was completely intimidated and skeptical about this Washington trip, so much so that it almost didn't happen. So much of me questioned my own ability to "convince" people to come on board but that's a true, real good mindset/ heart to have because I literally can't do it. No one would be convinced if it was just me with the motive but see God has the motive. To use me as His vessel and use me to invite, encourage and call those He needs to be apart of it all. Apart of the architecture that is this area of the kingdom building.

Each of us are called specifically because He has made us with these things to be accomplished and fulfilled in mind. He created each of us with the intricate detail of His timing and will for each of us to accomplish these things for His good.

Past and Present

7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of knowing Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss  because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them Rubbish, that I may Gain Christ 9 and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ- the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ- yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3: 7-11

Who are we when we sit in the midst of our own created comforts? How does it forcibly mess with our attempt to mess with Gods will for us? Why would we ever want to mess with Gods will for us? Better yet why would we ever settle for less?
I have realized and spoken of discomfort in my walk with the Lord. It is where God has called me. Within this continued discomfort I seek and find more comfort in Him and His plan for me rather than the low expectations I seek for myself. Clearly He has already led me to far higher expectations for myself than I ever would have imagined. Living a California dream in the Redwood forest at 28. This looks nothing like what I imagined 28 would be like... It's better.

3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."- Philippians 1:3-6 NIV

Just like the expectations I imagined for this trip to Washington were so small compared to what He actually did there. I had the opportunity to meet and visit with incredible people seeking direction and being content in where they are currently in Gods will for them., seeing the blessings unfold on the daily.

Support raising full time can be extremely intimidating or daunting. Typical Thought process seems selfish but that is a tactic that strays us away from reaching out into communities to further connect and allow God to use others as vessels to help to bless therefore seeing in all of this, continually, the only one that can be given credit, is God. Even in the struggle God does not leave our side for a moment. Instead, he intercedes to move the conversation forward such as my friend John did in Samammish, WA

While pouring out this last year of my life and the direction it all has brought me to point in, our conversation went quiet in between other topics of catching up. As I struggled with my timing, God prompted His timing and John asked me how he and his wife could support me. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped slightly. "The Ask" was asked to me. God is so good in his perseverance and encouragement that He plants in each of us. Pointers in love from others constructive  criticism that continues this growth process and continual discovery of who God is unfolding from the debris that are our doubts, flaws and brokenness. Because of Gods will and His continued faithfulness in revealing His desires within others my "Stellar Support Team" has grown in joyful noise and size. Each and every family member on our team has something very specific to teach and learn. I am so excited to see where this next year takes all of us.

I can't thank you enough. I feel like I can't thank God enough for you as this journey continues.

"26 Brothers and Sister, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and despised things- and the things that are not- to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God- that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written:"Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord." -1 Corinthians 1:26-31

-Keep Adventuring

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Life Experience Needed.

Matthew 10:39- "If you cling to your life you will loose it; but if you give up your life to me, you will find it."

I am trying to experience this each minute in each word that I speak to those about the journey that God is bringing me on to fulfill what it is that He is trying to accomplish. I began to experience and see this as my years and opportunities have unfolded in California. People put in my life to share and dream with while his plans are fulfilled in and through each of us.

I am trying to understand the direction and weight of my reactionary process of how God's plans unfold for me. Lately I have lost my "go with the flow" and be joyful regardless. Instead everything is radically up or radically down. Either radically effected or radically unaffected. Big deals out of nothing and ignoring apparent favoritism. I've allowed distraction to get the best of me. And in that I am humbled, reminded and pushed back in the direction that is needed and so important because it leads to the fulfillment in Gods plans, not my own.

Today I look around and see students studying mundane things for high school classes. I can remember studying French at the library with Sam Pride in 8th grade and desperately trying to stay awake while listening to teachers teach seemingly irrelevant things. Doing homework and writing papers that I honestly can't even remember subjects and topics of.

I see the importance of education but why do I feel like the majority of it didn't even stick? As I'm sitting here writing I am thankful for the ability to read and write. Most of my teachers were passionate about impacting students and encouraging them. I'm sure I wouldn't be where I am without teachers who truly cared about my succeeding. Seeing the light inside of me and so many others in their time and devotion. It is something I have thought of a lot.

Things like life skills, love, belief, encouragement, raw reality and strength building through it are just a few things that come to mind when I think of my early education. No candy coating, but instead, tough love that grows us and made me better and thankful for the struggle and succeeding through that struggle. Although looking back, life seemed so much easier then. Things that we face today wouldn't even seem possible if we had not experienced those "impossible" things then.

We have no idea where we are being brought to through all of it. But how blessed is it to be fostered by the wise and courageous to learn and thrive to become better at who God wants us to be?

I don't want to go back to school anytime soon. In fact when I see students with their text books I am so thankful that I'm not in their shoes. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to keep learning. Everyday I question. Everyday we learn something new, everyday we discover and seek to understand something or someone more. How awesome is it to hold that passion to learn? I am continually encouraged by teachers past and present and I also apologize to English teachers. I wish more had stuck with proper punctuation...

But life is a learning experience.

Every Now and Then Realities

Today God has been pushing the point of a recent lesson hard today to make me understand that HE is the only one that can fully sustain.

"10 As the rain and the snow come from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." -Isaiah 55:10-11

While in this struggle there my eyes have widened, my pride shattered and my heart tamed again...and again...and again.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." -1 Peter 2:9

It's funny how easily and carelessly something like a memory can be triggered by a current event. It's terrible and devastating if you allow it to effect you and the repercussions that you hold can make you feel as if you are right back where you originally were.

I have noticed that in this discovery I struggle to let it all go. My instinct has turned into holing it and ringing it until it's worn right through. Closing my heart and mind, burrowing, deeper into stone like mindset that everything and everyone is exactly alike. That the reason I protect these parts of myself are the same reasons why I did way back when because it's exactly the same...Exactly.

I know how wrong I am in this and the truth is that my human heart is so heavy. There are peaks during the day where I am simply too tired to bounce back, I'd rather burrow. What truth is in this? What even in the midst of this pain can I possibly see of that dim light that continually gets stronger the more I allow my hands to be pried from my eyes and light to flood in?

Confirmation.

He continues to confirm this direction that I must follow. While I struggle to believe that I know my heart better than he...

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."- Romans 8:28

I wont lie or deny the truth that I am tired of "bouncing back". So instead of doing just that I will simply lat at the foot of the cross and allow him to pick me up and carry me back or forward of whichever direction his will calls me toward. That direction continues to be nudging reminders of Wyoming. 

I stumbled across another blog today that resembled how I was trying to articulate the churning inside of me. (Listen to the song: Joy) Take a hot second and give it a gander. Let it soak in every now and then realities.

Relentless.

Tonight I can't shake a memory that I've had since college. One that sits in my heart reminding me of the hope of Jesus. Though I didn't know it at the time it was written to me, it has begun and will continue to fall into place with each day that God blesses me with.

It was shortly after I broke up with my boyfriend and headed out to finish the grueling task of my under grad. Moms are so encouraging. I have always been a fan of snail mail. I think that words written are far more impactful when seen that someone took time to sit down and focus completely on the note or letter. She was tender and understood my vulnerability. She had written something that still impacts my life and will for the rest of it. "I know it's hard right now, but know that things will turn out better than you could have ever imagined". Wise words from a wise Mamma.

How true it is That we really have no idea how much God sets us up for success if we would just allow Him to do the work in our lives to grow us and mold us to fit and pursue the things He needs us to accomplish His work. The things He has created each of us so individually to succeed.

"Why am I discouraged?

Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God!

I will Praise Him again-

my Savior and my God."- Psalm 42:11

Doing so changes our views and perspectives. Not just "can" but it actually WILL if we are persistent and continual in our obedience with doing so.

I have been doing 2 sets of push-ups 6 days a week. Monday- Saturday since January. I began with 2 sets of 5 legit push-ups. Every two weeks I up my stats... Then I hurt my shoulder in March so I took 2 or 3 weeks off. I was persistent. Doing them before bed, even when I don't want to do them, I do them. I bring myself to the ground and do them. Discipline began to form, I actually look forward to doing them. It is now September and I am up to doing 2 sets of 17. Legit.

Discipline reminds me of my friend Ashley. The first Summer I spent on the road in 2012 was my first exhausting summer on bike tour. Alarms would ring in the mornings while people snoozed and ignored them, dreading the beginning of the day. There were some sore exhausted mornings when we literally dreaded rising from our sleeping bags.

I would look over at Ashley's sleeping bag and she wouldn't be found there. Every time her alarm went off or if someone woke her up she would instantly spring and leap into the blessed morning. Even if her body was miserable, she would not hesitate. So I mimicked her. I have found that these little areas of discipline have proved incredible possibility in perspective and thriving. To praise God praise God even when you're filled with sorrow or exhaustion, praising God relentlessly. 

I want to praise God relentlessly.

I have learned through physical sacrifice, we gain more. We gain joy, we gain comfort and familiarity in our relationship with God. We build and practice faith and trust knowing that God provides love and watches over us relentlessly. We are human and in being human we are forgetful. The more that you practice something, whether it's a song on piano or Ukulele or even push-ups, if you are persistent you will see results. You will see things fill your brain, heart and body more than you might even realize. Through all of this, ultimately, God strengthens so through these circumstances and opportunities. Why dread it when you can leap in and embrace the moments that God gifts joyfully to us?

Why dread the morning sun of tomorrow when we are only promised today?

"at best, each of us is but a breath"

"You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.

My entire life time is just a moment to you;

at best, each of us is but a breath." Psalm 39:5  

Keep adventuring.

Life Outside The Box

I am an active person. If you couldn't already tell, I really enjoy physical activity. If you have kept up with my blog over the last couple of years you will notice that in order for God to do some pretty insane works in my heart He has had to sit me down and make me still. Through injuries and displacement I have been shown crazy incredible things from bike saddles, hiking boots, couches and dreams.

While I have been suffering from Shingles unable to barely even bike 20 miles, I have been laying, sitting, reading and writing. I have begun the (what most would think terrifying) process of Support raising. Updating my contacts for news letters and setting up face to face appointments with people to talk more about the vision that is Solid Rock Outdoor ministries and why God has called me there.

I mentioned "terrifying" to some in regards that support raising can feel rather tedious and begger-ish. But the truth is that this is such an incredible opportunity and honestly a chance to connect and share this vision with so many more people. building a support team of believers in Christ and in love. Yes the ultimate purpose for this ministry is to equip students in discipleship opportunities while gaining a better understanding for their personal identity as a son or daughter in Christ. It is an opportunity to be apart of something bigger than us. A chance to continue to adventure together.

I am also excited because this provides me with a better schedule with more flexibility to consistently update my support team on the incredible things that God has been doing with in the ministry that He has called me to serve in. Instead of just doing a 2 month long ask or updating people on the next big adventure. Instead it is an ongoing adventure! 

ADVENTURE WITH ME!

I have had a thought on my heart that I was thinking about the other night. 

It is this: Money though it is an earthly need, it is not something that defines us. God defines us because He created us. We should not build walls and borders around who God is creating and growing us to be. In fact it probably causes Him pain to see the alterations and the shortcomings we build around ourselves mainly based off of money or social stats. The thought of who WE want to be versus who GOD wants us to be are two completely different people. Which person outcome do you think will be better? The one in which we struggle to create with our own strength and direction or the one that God has in mind and is capable of creating in us if we would just allow Him to?

We must stop building these walls around us that confine who we are compared to who God wants us to be. Money means nothing. God's bank is never depleted. However it is up to Him when and how finances are blessed among many. So my hope is that I am reminded of that daily. To know that in order to gain anything I must lay it all down and trust and ask continually for God to do His brilliant work in and around me to continue to build the kingdom.

If you feel like this speaks to you (even if it doesn't) check out my support page: 

Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries 

Keep Adventuring.

Woke up in Narnia (Part 4)

My time in Wyoming was extremely impactful on my heart and soul. It's amazing how we can feel so much more disconnected from everyday life and contact when we step away from simple technology and clutter of business. And it is even more incredible to witness and partake in the feeling of connection between God and His creation. Seeing views and spending quality time being told the truths that The Lord has for us in who He is bringing us up to be.

During our time in the Teton Wilderness we stepped into a place that we liked to call "Austria". We wrestled with trails, snow and mud. We wondered when we would actually make it to Cub creek  or if we were actually in the right area that we had anticipated being on the map. The arguments were that there was a trail and that we should follow it but that there was also a clearing and we should just cut right to it.

Creation spit us out into what we called Austria:

We stayed here for 2 days and encountered our first snow. We had made a group decision to stay an extra day to sit on the topics that we were discussing pertaining to servant leadership as well as revisiting the topics of Pride and Unbelief. We actually touched upon map school too, go figure. 

It was one of the many incredible times that the 7 of us spent crammed into a tent while the wind howled outside as we intimately poured our hearts out with opinions and vulnerability. 

These sights overwhelmed out hearts. In the same way God overwhelmed my soul in taking this month in Wyoming to speak loudly and boldly into my life. With the lack of distraction and chaos, I was able to fully focus upon Him. Something that I have struggled with tremendously for the last couple of years while living and working in the same community. There was no boarder line and because of that I had not fully stepped away to focus on the most important relationship I will ever have for eternity. There was a lot of conviction and swelling behind the reality of this that blacked out some major heart issues I didn't even realize I was drowning in. 

 Back in Vedauwoo where "The storm threw our hearts into humility, God gave me a dream that played out with dates and peace. Though I didn't know what the dream meant I was full of praises that God would show me something like this. A possible direction and further calling upon my life. "But the plans of The Lord stand firm forever, The purposes of His heart through all generations". -Psalm 33:11

Commit to The Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans". Proverbs 16:3

Our time in the Teton wilderness was cultivating. During our "Solo time" (we stayed next to one another in tents because of our continued depth in category 1 grizzly country required us to be in groups no smaller than 3), The Lord began to pull my heart strings and unpack more of what I have been doing the last few years. He and I talked about how I was wondering if I just didn't love what I was supposed to be doing with the rest of my life. I told Him how there was simply no passion or enthusiastic drive behind the role I was currently in. After 2 years of God saying no. That I must stay where I was until He called me elsewhere. I didn't know where I was supposed to be headed but I knew deeply that the final destination was not California.

The next morning we woke up to "Narnia":

When I arrived in Wyoming a month earlier, I had fallen in love with Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries. The vision, the people, the area. Through out my course I had realized that it was not just a peak effect of what I was experiencing that would eventually fade after I returned to the redwoods. Rather it was a dim light that was given oxygen and fuel to burn brighter and more abundantly with passion and drive that helped to make it clear that this is a direction that I need to go. Not just A direction but THIS direction. 

This time I could visually see God waving His hands and pointing to Laramie. This time He was saying, "Here! I need you to go this way". 

Upon my return to California I had my meeting with my boss and the meeting played out exactly like my dream. Either way I knew my time was wrapping up in California and I knew that Laramie was where I was headed. I spent 2 full days filling out a full time employment application for the position of Admissions and Customer Support Manager. Why did I apply for this specific job? Because it is a vital role that has been in need of filling to help provide perspective students and their families communicate with our team so that we can orient them and prepare them the best ways that we know so that they can reach their goals of getting on to their course. It is a role that as I look back upon the last 4 years of working in California between the laughs, the struggles, the raw and the joy, God has been preparing me greatly for this specific position to use the tools that He has sharpened and equipped me with to serve Him and help to build His kingdom through Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries (SROM)!

After a month of interviews and a bike tour down the coast of California, I got the call and acceptance letter that I got the job! God is so, SO good! So now the transition continues and you will be seeing these updates as they come! First things first and that is I can't move any further until I finish reading an awesome book called "The God Ask" 

I could not be more ecstatic and also at peace with Gods plan! "Lord let your desires be my desires"

Bless The Lord OH my soul!!

Plenty more to come, but until then...

-Keep adventuring

#RealTalk

So here's a question for you. Have you ever been told that you're crazy? That you are absurd for for doing something or living the way that you do? I follow "Humans of New York" and found this one interview very spot on and you should check it out for a hot second here.

Why do you do the things that you do? What is a reasoning and the fire behind what you seek, pursue, long for and thrive towards?

I have been asked on many occasions if I'm still trying to ride my bike places. Or wondering when I'm going to actually get a "real" job. Why can't I just pick something and just do it for the rest of my life? That's a very simple question. The answer doesn't need to be complex. The answer is: I am a lover of people. That is my full time occupation. Cliche`?

Let me explain the simplicity. The only thing that should matter is loving well. And I am not an expert by any means. When you love, you serve. When you serve you give. When you give unconditionally, you gain. You gain joy. And joy is a blessing, it is everlasting. Most importantly joy is like water. it will always soak whoever is in the splash zone.

I have this friend who I lived with in an apartment. I had an experience that changed my life and this experience made me so happy! And now that I was finished with that season of my life, I was sad and couldn't figure out how to hold onto that happiness. I laid on the floor of her room crying wondering what was wrong with me. These next words that she spoke are etched through out my entire life story and a huge component with in the process that began my discovery of the saving grace of Jesus.

"You need joy. See Happiness is temporary, we experience things that make us happy but over time those things fade. Joy is everlasting. It does not fade. Even when something ends, Joy still lingers continually".


My juvenile self couldn't understand or comprehend at that moment what had just been revealed to me. But because of that it caused me to seek more deeply to discover the difference and understand the meanings.

Because of these ripple effects, I have realized that I want love to be my full time job... Call me a hippie, but it's true! I want to help people to: walk alongside them, share their burdens, hear their celebrations and dance beside them. I want to sit and dwell with them as they ponder the season and seek through the fog as people try to figure out who they are and for what reasons. I want to hug people cry with people and be blown away by who God is with people. The list of this occupation goes on and on and on. Because all of these things bring joy everlasting.

It is not a scale of how much we've done but what those things have done for and in each other.

So what do I want to be when I grow up? I want to love you as much as God loves you and me.

Keep Adventuring.