Thursday, July 21, 2016

First Hand Planned Inexperiences.

I can tell you first hand that this summer isn't at all what I had anticipated or predicted several months ago. My joy oozes through the exhaustion that is our peak season here at Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries. Whether it is young new life or old weathered life you can learn and anticipate that you simply can't anticipate anything at all. you can simply hope for the best and try to plan for the worst.

7Since no one knows the future,
who can tell someone else what is to come?
8As no one has power over the wind to contain it,
so no one has power over the time of their death.
As no one is discharged in time of war,
so wickedness will not release those who practice it."
-Ecclesiastes 8:7-8 

No need to be alarmed, no one has died. However I can safely say that in the first 2 months of marriage thus far my groom and I have never been more consistently sick. We are both not the kinds of people who have struggling immune systems or injure easily so needless to say this current season and the recent seasons leading up to now have been very trying and mixed with feelings of defeat. 
After returning from my 10 days in the wilderness working for Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries, I came home to find a very sick puppy. He had gone to urgent care and been given an anti-biotic and was told it could be a lot of things and that didn't rule out the possibility of lymphoma... However the antibiotics weren't helping and he still had a fever. We later went to the ER and had blood tests done that showed his white blood cell count was slightly below normal but nothing of concern. His liver count was a bit high and so was the pain behind his eyes. They ruled out Meningitis but when his fever spiked again a few days later we returned to have more blood taken and an ultra sound scheduled because he was having swelling in the liver and spleen areas on top of the lymph nodes in his neck. We have been told that it is most likely a viral infection. Regular pain medication, rest and hydration will be the best remedy. However we are still keeping tabs on his Liver count because it is still high.

Rarely have I ever gone to the ER. The majority of the times I've gone I've been too young to remember. So to be taking my new spouse, my other half into the uncertainty of what we will find out, I was really nervous. But this is where I left it. When we walked out of the second ER visit, I left that burden in the room. God has this and there is clear reason for this... However as wise as that may seem or not seem, I know that there is no way I will comprehend the backside of this tapestry to provide clear answers currently. Fever broke, and as I type this he is cat napping in all parts of the apartment. 

For many might read this and feel thankful, bitter or grief in various other outcomes that may have happened in personal experiences. And perhaps still working through those emotions and broken heart syndrome of loosing loved ones. I will say it again, "As wise as that may seem or not seem, I know that there is no way I will comprehend the backside of this tapestry to provide clear answers currently in anyone's life circumstances. 

"There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless."- Ecclesiastes 8:14

Fever broke, and as I type this he is cat napping in all parts of the apartment. 

In conversation last night at bible study we had spoken of how God really does have a sense of humor. We also spoke of the incredible opportunity and freedom that we have to seek Gods perspective and ask his desires into our hearts. We talked about how we can often bring our own expectations and then blame God for not answering prayers based on our personal expectation of how we want Him to answer our prayers when truth be told he answers all prayers in his own way whether that it hardening a heart to prevent hurt, softening a heart to show truth and light or working His timing. His timeline not our own.

"Who is like the wise?
Who Knows the explanation of things?
A person's wisdom brightens their face and changes its hard appearance.

2Obey the King's command, I say, because you took an oath before God.
3Do not be in a hurry to leave the King's presence. Do not stand up for a bad cause, for he will do whatever he pleases. 4Since a king's word is supreme, who can say to him, "what are you doing?"

5Who ever obeys his command will come to no harm,
and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure.
6For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter,
though a person may be weighed down by misery.

7Since no one knows the future,
who can tell someone else what is to come?
8As no one has power over the wind to contain it,
so no one has power over the time of their death.
As no one is discharged in time of war,
so wickedness will not release those who practice it."
-Ecclesiastes 8:1-6

Go ahead and pause and red the entirety of chapter 8 and chapter 9 while you're there. Let it sink in and let that weight roll off your back a little bit in know that Solomon is indeed a wise, wise man.

I particularly like verses 14-15 : "There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. 15 I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun that to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun."

Truth be told I am exhausted... What else is new? So perhaps in the midst of hardship and changing of seasons, I will simply be and eat, drink and be glad. Enjoy the views and enjoy the company as God continues to set my feet into each of these days under the sun.
My most recent 10/10 Adult course!


My Love.



-Keep Adventuring.








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Thursday, June 30, 2016

These Giants.

"There we saw the giants."- Numbers 13:33

"The reason so many people fail to experience this divine principle is that they expect to receive it all without a struggle. When conflict comes and the battle rages on, they become discouraged and surrender. God has nothing worth having that is easily gained, for there are no cheap goods on the heavenly market. The cost of our redemption was everything God had to give, and anything worth having is expensive. Difficult times and places are our schools of faith and character. If we are ever to rise above mere human strength, and experience the power of the life of Christ in our mortal bodies, it will be through the process of conflict that could very well be called the "labor pains" of the new life...

Dear child of God, you may be suffering, but you cannot fail if you will only dare to believe, stand firm, and refuse to be  overcome."- June 29th, Streams in the Desert.

Humility, I am finding continually in this season of my life I have often been confused in thinking of it as defeat. Just as consuming certain things into our bodies can physically effect us  in negative way, so can our perspectives and thought processes.

God hasn't, doesn't and never will fall of of His throne...


King of My Heart

Let the King of my heart be
The mountain where I run
The fountain I drink from; Oh
He is my song

Let the King of my heart be
The shadow where I hide
The ransom for my life; Oh
He is my song

You are good good, Oh
You are good, good Oh



-Keep Adventuring.








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Thursday, June 23, 2016

Go Forward.

Tunnel Vision. Ever have it? What has been at the end of the tunnel that you're looking down?

-Projects?
-Email?
-Emotion?
-Work?
-Finances?
-School?
-Health?
-Relationships?
-Worry?
-Denial?
-Depression?
-Seeking?

Could it be that the things in which we are most anxious and focused upon were originally meant to be a passing thought that should be stewarded well?

I've begun to study the book of Ecclesiastes. And a question that we discuessed last night and pondered on is Salomon's riches. In Deuteronomy 17:17 "He Must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray. He must not accumulate large amounts of silver and gold."

Yet if these things were not acceptable, why did God give Salomon so much wealth?

I for one gain tunnel vision on finances. Especially since getting married. It's actually hindered my heart more than I realize. I think about dollars and the seemingly hard situation we are in with pinching pennies. How nice it would be to not need to worry about money. If my husband and I were living comfortably and we didn't need to choose which bill would be inevitably late this month. Worrying about how no matter what when things get tight, things just get tighter with unforseen car problems or taxes.

I know the turth deep down and it is something I'm not all that proud of but I am thankful none the less to know myself and know the truths about my comfort seeking heart. My heart more often than not seeks comfort in things rather than in God. And that truth that I know deep down is that if God did give me wealth in my life currently I feel I would quickly become like Salomon. Drifting away from the Lord and walking deeper and deeper down that tunnel of searching for satisfaction through wealth.

I often think about how nice it would be to just be comfortable financially. But when I think further into that thought I am reminded of myself and many people who I know who have said things like,  "If I could just step away from all of this I could become closer to God". Or "If I could just make a little bit more money it would make life so much easier". Or "If I move to this place, I will be able to focus and do what God wants me to do".

The truth is that God has us right where He needs us to be. We put words in Gods mouth continually as we think we know what will be best for us and pursue those things. When really God wants us to act now! Not when it fits into our timeline. Truthfully, The things that I have heard people say above are nothing more than scape goats. We all release them, every single one of us. It doesn't mean we are terrible or ill natured people. It simply means we are learning continually to look Jesus in the eye and step out onto the water like Peter had.

With such focus seeing our Lord and Savior... He is called Savior for a reason. What type of hero saves people when they have gotten out of the danger themselves. What kind of God would make you deal with the hardships and confusion by yourself and meet up with you after the fact.

He wants us to seek Him now! Not later when we have "free time" that is bound to be taken up by social media. Not later when we move to different places thinking it will move us away from our problems and hardships.

He wants His strength in us and our eyes completely on Him. After all, man does not deserve glory but God be enthroned in highest praises and worthy of it all.


-Keep Adventuring.






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Thursday, June 2, 2016

And We Dance.

When one is conquring ones self while stumbling I picture gladeators battling lions and one another. I picture athletes attempting to use their own momentum to chunk heavy things rather then allowing the the nature of the circumstance to be overcome using it's own momentum to propell it's self further like a dance. Like a Shot Put thrower. or a Crossfitter Kipping.

Life is a dance and a climb and a messy fall and a dark cold hole and a bright warm, just out of the dryer bliss fest. And all of these things are OK. Why? Because it's life and through EVRY circumstance, God is working in and through us to reveal Himself to us and to those who surround us. 

There is a quote that I have been thinking and rethinking in my head over this last week. As I have been getting back into the groove of the summer schedule here at SROM, I keep thinking about this quote and the deep truths that it holds.

"Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. Love is the essential reality and out purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us."- Marianne Williamson

Just some thought for you.

Happenings:

-Apartment moving and life combining continues as the Husband and I settle into the new love nest.

Goodbye Apt. 22, you were swell!

building a versatile bed frame. Ask me about the funny story behind it all.



-Summer is officially here and we are all getting hyped for the SROM Swag that is coming in for students to purchase and take with them EVERYWHERE! Retro Tanks are in and the XL's can substitute as dresses for your more formal backpacking occasions! 

-Summer here also means summer staff arrivals, climbing weather and late sunsets to climb after work!...Needless to say it's going to be a GREAT summer!
Rule number 1, look good.













She said yes!

 -I got some ah-MAZING new climbing pants for $7 in Fort Collins. (you can see said pants in the team climbing shot)

-Austin and I were invited to be a cover story of hiking and catching up after our wedding to hike with our two friends while the real plan all along was to present a proposal! It was so fun and extremely overwhelming for me simply to know how it felt to be asked such a wonderful question from your best friend!

-My friend Q ran 44 miles on Saturday. 4 out and back legs of 11 miles each. I biked leg 2 with her and I ran the last leg with her. Frick... She inspires me mucho to go harder and love deeper. She's awesome.
Photo Cred: Emily Hall


















Up & Coming:

-This weekend we are taking a quick break from unpacking our lives and packing the car! We are headed up to Jackson Hole (affectionately known as "J-Hole") to spend the weekend camping with friends and running a half marathon! Between my back injury and getting over being sick (yes I got sick while on the Honeymoon) I am truly running this race with the strength of God and not my own. Please pray for my body and for the focus to not be on the aches but on the creation in which we are running and those who are presently around us. It's going to be a party!

Love Him, Duh.



















-My friend Craig is coming out in just 2 weeks to head out on his 40/40 with SROM this summer and I am SO EXCITED for him to hit the trail and be rocked by God!
Throwback. Circ 2010





-Keep Adventuring.










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Thursday, May 26, 2016

The Greatest Love.

It can be easy to say that I have been surrounded by beauty and joy over these last couple of weeks.

Me and my Bridal Party about to go get hitched!
It's true. I am married, I am joyful and I have been consumed and overwhelmed by Jesus and His truths and promises on my life. To bring me to these places and these faces and to be put into my Husband, Austins, life and he in mine.

 "4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...
13And these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13

With not even 2 weeks into this new season I have already been approached by so many people asking me what I think about being married. What it's like and once I respond with joy and thanksgiving... There is a sensed response of... well, "The Honeymoon phase." I understand where people are coming from... But the perspective I've gained is interesting. Within our American Culture there is a lot of dispossing. There is a lot of breaking and replacing. The sense that is gained when asked "How marriage is" and upon my answer given has somewhat reminded me of when I first came to know Jesus Christ my Lord.

Lets begin with Testimonies, shall we? No one person has the same finger print. Like our finger prints our stories may seem similar but for the most part they are unlike anothers story, journey, and path. My testimony doesn't start off pretty. I didn't surrender my life to Jesus until I was 23. A lot of things that lead up to my further understanding of Jesus' relentless pursuit for his daughter.

I first encountered the hesitence in the questions people would ask me about my journey wish Jesus and ask me about my testimony. When I would open up many would giggle and say, "Ohhhhh, that's wonderful... You're in the Honeymoon phase of your faith"...

 Guys I don't get it...

People would explain to me that I was in a very exciting and easy part of my faith and that soon that feeling would fade and the trials would begin. Not for one moment do I agree with that point of view. Who ever said life would be easy? I really would love to meet the person who said it would be. Jesus said it wouldn't be easy but that it would be worth it.

"11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully even as I am fully known." - 1 Corinthians 13:11-12

In the culture of fads and continual replacement, I am so excited, honored, joyful and thankful for my husband. Already with in the first week and a half I have struggled with change but the truest thing is that I have my best friend by my side. Trials ahead semi-known and stepping into it all. A Honeymoon is more than just having a great time and bliss. In fact the entire true point of a Honeymoon is to connect on a completely more intimate personal level as two become one and we seek to transition together. and that phase continues for the rest of our lives. 

The difference in all of this is that I am choosing to seek joy and the blessing of my husband daily. Not seeing all of this as something that is "bound to fade and reality kicks in"...

I love being married and I love being married to my best friend and I love not setting boundries and getting to wake up next to him and getting to organize the meshing of our messy lives into one amazing journey together.

I love him. I love him because God gave me the ability to love in the first place. And I choose to love my husband, my other half.
Photo cred: Megan Lee Photography








-Keep Adventuring.


Thursday, April 28, 2016

What Overwhelms You?


.........


But seriously what overwhelms you?


Let me throw some things that seem overwhelming to me lately:

-Jesus

This may seem cliche but it's true. Have you truly thought about Jesus and the things that He has asked of you in the last few weeks, years, your entire life?  Have you thought about the intense love that will consume you if you let it? Have you ever loved someone so deeply and so urgently that your heart almost breaks with the weight that is that feeling of love? Did you know that Jesus' love for you is even stronger, deeper more unbreakable than the sliver of love and compassion you hold?

...I'm overwhelmed at that thought myself.

I've been overwhelmed by a lot of other things lately:
-Wedding planning
-Wedding Budget
-Wedding Expenses
-Getting Married
-The thought of being married
-Trading in my last name
-Living with a boy
-Support Raising
-Rent
-Car payment
-Helthcare
-Insurance
-Feeding myself
-Physical Therapy costs

...Just to name a few.


1If I speak in tongues of men and angels, but did not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but did not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I posses to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.-1 Corinthians 13


What is my point? Well... Telling you the truth and that is this:

Wedding planning... Jesus' love is greater
Wedding Budget... Jesus' love is greater
Wedding Expenses... Jesus' love is greater
Getting Married... Jesus' Love is greater
The thought of being married... Jesus' love is greater
Trading in my last name... Jesus' love is greater
Living with a boy... Jesus' love is greater
Support Raising... Jesus' love is greater
Rent... Jesus' love is greater
Car payment... Jesus' love is greater
Healthcare... Jesus' love is greater
Insurance... Jesus' love is greater
Feeding myself... Jesus' love is greater
Physical Therapy costs... Jesus' love is greater

All things dim in the light of Gods love and passion for me... and you. Just felt like I had to remind you of that today.

Jesus... His love is greater.

-Keep Adventuring.




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Thursday, April 21, 2016

Not So Speed Racer.

"1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."-Hebrews 12:1

For a while now, I have been struggling with a lower back injury that has been preventing me from training for a half marathon I am registered to run in Jackson Hole Wyoming with good company on a team call "Run Like the Winded".

This is honeslty one of the first times that I have had an injury that I haven't bounced back from in a week or 2. It has been on going to the point where I have been seeking Physical Therapy and undergoing weekly Dry Needling. I began to wonder if I would ever get better. I had been doing the excecises religiously as well as distracting myself from the pain and lack of doing my "normal" work out regimen with facebook and instagram like whoa. Sitting down once getting home and sometimes wasting up to 2 hours of my time surfing. Before I even realized I had spent 2 weeks maybe more of my time zoned out and trying to ignore things and people around me by trying to numb the idea that I was injured and I couldn't do what I enjoyed and I couldn't prepare for yet ANOTHER race.

Let's backtrack shall we?

For the record I have run 4 major races 3 half Marathons and 1 full marathon with high hopes of adding another one in June In a new state, Wyoming!

1. Lake Placid New York: I was running with a shin injury that I received after almost being attacked by a dog that jumped out and caused me to tweak my leg on an uneven sidewalk.

I still finished! When you body does something for the first time, your body doesn't really understand or believe what you're making it do. It felt pretty miserable. the entire time. Completed the race at 75%.



2. Avenue of the Giants Half Marathon #1: I had spent time training and I felt really good up until 2 days before the race. In that time I began to get a scratchy throat and my nose closed up while my head pounded.
At 4:30am on Race day my head opened and everything began to drain and I ran the race hopped up on cold Meds... Body didn't mind as much because it had run that distance before. But my body was also distracted by the sickness that was within my upper torso. Completed the race at 50%

3. Avenue of The Giants Half Marathon #2: Again spent a long period of time training, taking care of myself and resting to prevent injury and illness... Illness still came...
 I ran with a terrible sinus infection that atleast stayed above my lungs and only caused mental disorientation and a good sense of zoning out from cold Meds. Still conqured but at only 60%.



4. Avenue of the Giants FULL Marathon: Months spent devoted to long runs, sprinting the last lap around the park loop because the sun was down and it creeped me out. Working multiple 12 to 14 hour days at work and basically running whenever I wasn't working. Stress levels ensued and I got one of the worst colds I have ever experienced. My boss reccommended I eat a peice of toast dowsed in minced garlic. It wasn't terrible when I at it before I went to bed the night before the race because I couldn't taste let alone feel the toast in my mouth because my head and lungs were packed with snot. Race morning per usual I popped heavy Cold Meds and ran at 40%.
 
Historically, My races days have SUCKED majorly and with this injury I had been feeling VERY discouraged. To the point where I did infact question God in asking if running is something that He was asking me to give up. Why? Perhaps the sport has moved away from time with God instead, I find myself becoming critical, I find myself obsessing over miles and training regimens. I knock myself down when my body can't handle the miles my heart wants to accomplish.

Through all of this the clear answer is NO. God doesn't want me to give up running but to simply refocus my attention to his strength over and over and over again.

From a completely different perspective I see each of these races as God's protection and presence in my life. Running these races in my own strength I would have been passed out at the start line as the germs and injuries pounded my self confidence. I need to remind myself that in 3 of these 4 races I heard God telling me to run not for my glory but for His.

This is the same thing that I am hearing for this quickly approaching race June 4th in Jackson Hole. I haven't run in over a month now and yet I can audibly hear God saying, "you will". It is a constant battle in my heart and mind against the enemy as I feel this continual dull pain in my lower back and hip. But refocusing as well as deleting facebook and Instagram from my phone has helped in loads of different ways. Mainly braking my trances and looking forward to what I can be doing attitude wise and leaning wise upon the Lord to bring me through this season.

He craves my attention and I have been holding back. I want to seek His glory and let Him be known among many. I want His strength to soak me to the bone and beyond to that His temple that is my body maybe glorifying to Him, ALWAYS.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize".-1 Corinthians 9:24



-Keep Adventuring.







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