Cup Towers.

Pigeons flew like gray snow in reverse as I took a deep breathe and continued on the busy streets of San Francisco. wondering what would be happening next. Everything so uncertain, frazzled and caught up in what seems like the same whirlwind that tossed those birds, my heart is also caught in the midst of this chaos.

I was in a car accident this morning. While taking my Mom to the airport (we're fine). You see things happen, time slows, worst thoughts of so many things run through your head to again try and predict the outcome and take the best approach possible...Again... trying to be one step ahead. So silly. I didn't hit anyone, but we got hit from behind. Screeching bringing me back to the redwood forest while my shaking and disbelief caused me to be much quieter than ever while I tried to focus on my phone and what I should be doing. 911. Yep my first time ever calling that number. Triggering other thoughts of many other firsts in these last two years. Prayer out loud, Sequoia trees, driving across the United States...Soon to bike, and now a car accident.

So what happened? There's not much to tell... We shared information. The police made a report and we were back on our way...What just happened? Break lights caused my stomach to churn and my feet to be quick like a short-stop ready to move. I became trigger happy, as did my Mom. We laughed as I still shook.

Praise God in all of it.
She made her flight as I ran across the Golden Gate Bridge crossing upon another first.

My thoughts were racing while it all happened. God moments. I was praising Him, I was crying to Him. Asking, "why now? Is this really something I can handle?" while other parts of my head and heart replied, "Of course you can handle it. He wouldn't have given it to you." It could be so much worse. I still cried. Just because it's hard doesn't mean I have to have a hard face about it. I am by default a crier. I cry for joy, for sadness, frustration, compassion, encouragement, anger, happiness, love, kindness, fear, and advice. I'm still not used to it though. I don't think I'll ever be.

which reminds me of this other thought:
I stood in the dinning hall at work the other night on dinning hall duty (heh-duty) and saw this 5th grader. He had a baseball cap on with 8 cups stacked from hand to brim. He was focused, determined, stressssed out with eyes on the prize. The dish pit. I thought to myself, "Oh man to have a stack of cups be your most grueling most hard thing to worry about, man wouldn't that be awesome". If you really sit down to think about it, our own focuses and concerns are merely just a stack of cups. It's a temporary thing. Yes imagine those things and you balancing them with both hands and elbows. On your pinkie finger or perhaps even on your chin. It might seem impossible but Gods holding the top. Slowly but surely he is guiding you to where you need to go to lessen the burdens in various places and gaining other dishes along the way. It's one big meal.

Delish.

Lordy, Lordy.

I have been finding that my days feel longer than normal. It isn't a bad thing. When my back pack was on my shoulders and feet crunching through snow around neck breaking sequoia trees, things were slow like a scene from a life I never thought would be my own.

Since I was eight years old. In the midst of the chaos and lack of knowledgeable direction there I was standing with tears in my eyes of seeing these large mysterious, majestic, stunning, word snatching creations. I didn't say much. I got rather light headed from gasping in awe, but I would just stand. Each step felt like it was a blissful period of time. Surrounded by His creation. Not just trees, but people.

I'm not so good at playing games that have a lot of detailed instruction. I don't enjoy people who are over competitive and scores stress me out. Back packing, if we want to get technical, is just a very intense form of wandering. It's basically to just walk around in the woods and observe. There is no winning goal involved. No competition, no score, no explanation of rules on how to play. It continues to become one of my favorites.

And if I must mention it I will, backpacking women are probably some of the most beautiful women I know. To seek independence in His creation and to see the strength yet gentle ways in which women embrace these playgrounds. Again, speechless.

Lately I have been finding myself thinking I know what's next. I know why these events have happened and what needs to happen next. But the truth is as soon as I peak around that corner to see the light. The source has already gone around the next corner leaving behind a peaking light up around the next bend. I feel the darkness sweep while I try to crane my neck to see if I can get a glimpse.

Lately my necks been cramping up...

"5Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. 6In all your ways Acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."-Proverbs 3:5-6

Flawlessly Flawed.

We are called to be in community. Constantly bringing light to the words of the Lord and what is true. Building the kingdom and loving one another like we are loved by the Lord. One of the main reasons for this trip I have stated in my support letter but have not been living it out. Knowing your neighbors and finding ways to be able to support one another. Communication and supporting.

I am still $4,000 Short on the amount of money needed to venture across the country and build these communities and to inform others about being kind to your neighbors. To take advantage of where God has planted you and whom he's placed so well in your life.

 I am  not asking for money. it isn't about me. I am asking for help to spread awareness. To challenge you to know your neighbors better. To raise awareness and funding for this movement to change what the world is becoming. To open up rather than close down. By getting our neighbors involved or just simply aware of this cause, it is all apart of the goal. To help build and strengthen examples to share with the rest of the hearts I will encounter.

The ones my heart is being prepared for. It all begins with knowing your neighbors. Coming together as a community to make a change. To exemplify the Lord. Isn't it what we are called to do? To live by the Lord example and live, "Christ-like"?

I have not been doing this. These examples are unified. They are together but not apart. Not for local only. Because local is also miles upon miles away. What can we do to spread these examples like wildfire? To not only help the community in which we know but also the community intertwined with this one. The one unknown.

Let's have a block party, a yard sale... Spreading the reason for having it and why. To get to know one another better and celebrate in good company and also become aware of what our other neighbors need and share their riches of building a community.

My heart is so emotional for this, praise God.