It's Normal.

When this world shakes and life feels like it's full of twists turns, corners and hedges. It is simply an illusion. I mean what we think to be absolutely crazy and absurd on this earth. Things we get frustrated because of lack of ability for explanation... Why do we feel it always needs to be explained?...

Let me explain...

7 days ago I was $1,000 away from my $5,000 fundraising goal for my Trek across the country this summer. If you don't know what I'm speaking of, please take a moment and read this post and it will plenty catch you up:
It's Happened

So yes this entire time I know that God would provide. However I didn't know the details on how He would do it or when but I knew that he WOULD do it. Again some things can't be explained but that's what makes it even more real.
Monday I was handed a check by a friend from his family for $100. Awesome that is such a blessing. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and I worked my little butt off like always but was excited to make it to Thursday because that meant two days off and a good wholesome walk with a friend whom I had an incredible talk with about Ministry and Mission work. About Gods path that He has us on and how the conversation taking place had already been planned thousand upon thousands of years before. How incredible it is how Gods given us the things that make our hearts ache and strive to serve Him. Explaining gifts and receiving while giving and giving is receiving... Make any sense? It's Thursday and She hands me a check for $100. And as soon as I returned home I had a message waiting for me from a friend from church that explained they were donating to the cause and needed more information on how So I sent her the link and instructions. Another $100. Now I thought that was pretty cool $200 in one day. I personally thought that was plenty but God thought other wise. I was already running late but I needed to go to the office to make some copies of some forms that were due very soon before I left for Seattle. So I decided to check my mail box while I was making copies in the office. Excited I saw two envelopes (I love mail. It brings joy to my heart to see pen to paper moved around to create letters and words that spill the depth of thoughts and updates on what is happening in peoples lives and things that encourage me as well).

One envelope contained a bill from my Mom for my loans...It was still nice to get mail. I pulled the other envelope out and saw that there was only a single line of words typed on it that said, "To: God's call for Daria's Summer". I was very confused and asked Joy if she knew who this was from. She looked at it confused to and said "I don't know...Open it"! So I made a few copies she walked to the front of the office and I opened it alone...I counted green pieces of paper. $20, $40, $60, $80, $100...etc...etc...etc...etc... $350 in cash. I was shaking. Who gave this to me? I quietly put the money back in the envelope and walked away from it frazzled. I could barely hold paper. Lara walked in and saw me and instantly stopped and asked me what was wrong and I pointed to the table where the envelope laid and I couldn't speak...Instead I sobbed. Joy asked if that was a good noise. She found me as well and asked what was up and I pointed and Lara explained what I tried to explain to her. We stood there speechless. Joy laughed and apologized for laughing. She wasn't laughing at my reaction. She was laughing because how else do you react to such an awing God moment? We didn't know what to do so we just stood there. Lara was frozen, I was bent over sobbing and Joy was laughing. Pulled myself together I headed out on my way to get my bike fitted.

The next morning as I was updating my goal amount and what was left, I had an update posted that said, "Knock a hundred off your total, I'm sending you a check". Awesome! So while I was typing in the new amount that was left I had a best friends Mother message me saying to take another $100 off the amount needed... I wasn't even finished typing up my updated status amount! What in the world is going on?

$230 remained...with in 52 hours He just filled it up completely. Yesterday, Saturday, I had another family from church message me saying that they wanted to fund the remaining $230 that was needed to reach my $5,000 goal. Just like that. And it isn't even over yet. People are still donating.

I...don't...know...what...to...say...Nothing needs to be said. Just constant praises.

This is another building block. I told my family. I had my family in tune while it was happening and now that it's happened, people are flabbergasted. Yep. That word doesn't even describe it. Like I said before it doesn't make any sense to me or to lots of others. I knew He would do it. I didn't know how or when but He DID.

On this earth it might seem completely strange, and radically ridiculous. Wild to barely be able to begin to comprehend. But to God, it's normal. It makes perfect sense.

Bumps and Bananas Just Don't Mix

This day can't go without being recorded. To say the least, God works in the strangest ways... Strange in a human earthly sense. Though it's all perfectly normal to Him. Clever.

It took me way longer to get on the road but I had dreams last night and I woke up praying in the middle of it all. Hallelujah. I was on the road. Before I even got there my iPod was dead. "Oh well can't use it while I'm riding on tour so I'll leave it." On my way I discovered more of my gears and how to smoothly transition better. Also feeling rather timid about shadows from trees on sunny winding roads. You can't tell where the ruts and dips are in the road until you've hit them. Everything blends, flashing while you're zooming, trusting nothing will fail on the object on which I hover over while my wrists and legs take the blunt impact. Fast down this hill with pavement flowing underneath like a rushing river. I have been finding it easier to do this than transition through seasons of this life... Anyway...

I stopped off in Forestville to fix my shoe clip and when I got to my next destination I couldn't unclip my left shoe. I was caught off guard practically in the middle of the intersection. I fell for the first time on my bike (or off my bike rather...half way at least). As I struggled to get my foot out (which it clearly wasn't budging) the car driving by pulled off to the side and a woman came running out at me. Three other individuals came running from their street corner stores. I was surrounded while I was still trying to hold onto what was left of my pride. Clearly I was embarrassed. Here I am, 25, been riding bikes since I was 3. I'm about to ride across the United States and here I am, sitting, in an intersection after falling flat on my side. "I'm fine. Really I'm OK! My shoe, it just didn't come off my clip. I'm OK. Just...Trying...To get...My foot off my clip!" People were trying to help me up. At this point the foot that was still attached to my bike was still underneath my bike and now I look like a turtle struggling to get right side up from being put on her back...

How's that for a painted picture?

Mark, the guy from the shipping store offered me water and asked me if I needed help. I pulled my shoe off at this point and walked over in my sock. ("I can walk, my body is fine... I didn't fall on my tail bone. Praise God.") I twisted my shoe off the clip and tried to fix it. Thought I had, but it didn't work and now the clip was stuck in the peddle. Marks friend, Ed, came over and they began to chat about Eds son who's a cyclist. Then they talked about how they would never want to be strapped to something like a bike. How scary it is. I explained that I've fallen harder elsewhere and that I was training. They asked me why and I told them all about my trek while I continued to struggle with my peddle. Mark walked back inside his store and came back with $10. Then Ed gave me $5. They told me to put it towards my trip.

I was overwhelmed. Suddenly I felt stubborn and awed by how God did that. How he stripped away pride, knowledge, plans. Physically stopped. While all of this was taking place Mark and Ed were talking about old days and how Mark would be "pushing daisy's"  if he hadn't quit drinking 23 years before... I told him I thought that was amazing. Because it was. Even though I didn't know him, I was proud of him.

I rode on not telling them I still had 45 miles left to ride. But I went. They gave me their blessing and I them as I made the normal climb towards Guernville. I still really wanted to make good time...Human... In order to make good time I need energy. So I thought that perhaps this was still a good time to try and sustain myself by physically feeding my body. I pulled out the banana I had been dreaming about for most of the afternoon. I began to carefully peel it while riding and I hit a bump. Slow motion, I saw the banana fall and skid behind me...

For a split second I thought about going back to get it, but instead I raised my hands, looked above me and prayed, Laughing, "God I just want to be able to glorify you on this ride. I trust you to give me what I need. Because clearly and banana and self determination will not do it... Help me".

Sure enough he provided me with a soaring tail wind to kick me past goat rock and to Coleman valley road with in 15 minutes. Stellar!... Then it became hard again. But it was an amazing kind of hard. As I read words barely moving up the hill from people who had written in chalk for those who rode in the race last weekend, I pushed, yelled, walked and enjoyed the words, "Legs shut up!" written huge beneath my feet. That and "Batman" written in blue paint. I made it up the first steep part. I walked up through farm land and got back on my bike, nearly being blown off. I only walked up one other hill. It was amazing.

 I'm alright with walking sometimes. If you don't walk you wont get anywhere. I made it to the top of the last hill and coasted 6 miles home. I am tired, but so joyful of the events and opportunities to be able to use this tent. That and to find out that Ed went to school in Hershey, PA. Small world.

MMMM 60 miles. God is so good. I can only imagine what the road will be like with others there to witness such shenanigans

Testing the Seems of this Tent

May 24th is a date. Something much more tangible that what I've been used to lately. We ride in a little more than a month. I am not fully funded and May 24th feels like tomorrow. These human things creep up my spine that make me feel the nerves of this tent tighten and I am worried.

I have been training. Ordering t-shirts, posting, posting, posting. Talking talking talking. Praying for patience, courage and peace. $2,885 is a big number that needs to be dwindled in 20 days. I don't doubt God can do it. Yet here I sit, worried.

Here's what I do have. May 12th and 13th devoted to a driveway/ bake sale with all money raised going to fund the goal of $5,000 to dissolve what is needed and gain more of that $2,885. I also have a dessert Benefit that I will be speaking at on May 19th. The thing I don't know is the outcome of these things.

I do know that I have an article written about me in my home town with two more articles to follow shortly...Me...Me...Me...

All of this has nothing to do with me. My fears and the things that are not of God weighing down my heart for the last couple of days, I pray would be ripped from these bones. If I don't ride, I've still raised money to go toward the cause. That is what matters. But what about the articles? What about the tangible promises of the things like t-shirts and bracelets I would send. What's the point if I don't ride? There's much more point to this than I could ever comprehend.

But again, God is big. No words to explain how big. $2,885 left to come in to ride for Justice, for hope for the love of brothers and sisters. For neighbors near and far. For you... For me. For something that is bigger than all of us.

It's not about me. But I know...I KNOW God will provide what is needed. I am excited to ride this summer.

Round Top VS Flat Top

A light pink sweater of cotton with a light pink head cover to match. Thick glasses with soft frail skin. Her smile and deep eyes welcomed me like the warmest hug from my own Mother. I couldn't describe why I was drawn to her. Clearly she was struggling to open the freezer door in the frozen food isle. I asked if I could help and she smiled and said yes. So I helped her. I asked her her name as I kneeled down next to her and she said her name was Dorthy. I told her mine, and we spoke of how pretty each name was and where we were from. I smiled back and asked her if I could help her with anything else and as she held a very heavy basket I was a magnet to her. I would have walked her and her grocery's all the way home if the opportunity arose. I asked if I could take her basket and help her with the last few items she was on the hunt for. I was thrilled when she said yes. I followed her with a rather heavy basket of items as my feet trailed behind her wheels and motor. "Bagels, I need bagels." We came into the bread isle and we stared at all the bread. We contemplated the differences between "round top" bread and "flat top". She had to have been a beautifully seasoned 90 years old at least.

As we walked to the register I asked her where she lived before residing in this town and she said she had been born in San Francisco and worked as a marketing agent and cashier in L.A. But the thing she took most delight in during her younger years and said she truly lived when she ballroom danced. It was her favorite time. "Getting to dance and float across the floor, it was truly the best time of my life".

She asked me if I needed to get anything. Nothing else mattered. I was satisfied with helping her. It's why I went in the first place (Though I didn't realize that when I was originally on the hunt for V-neck t-shirts). I was over flowing because of her. I told her I couldn't find what I was looking for. Explaining why I needed the t-shirts, for a half marathon I was running in with friends this coming weekend. Filling her in on where I was from and what I had been doing while I've been here.

As I unloaded everything onto the belt I got back down on my knee and grabbed her hand and asked if she needed anything else and she said no, that someone would bring her stuff outside with her to her ride. I looked into her glossy gray eyes and told her, "It's good to know you Dorthy. God bless you". She looked at me, squeezed my hand and said, "God bless you too. You are a great addition to this world".

If only for a moment our paths crossed. She changed my life for the better. Thank you God for that amazing gift. I will never forget those words. Even if I make it to her age. Hands small and warm. Love bursting with appreciated openness. You don't know what you need until you get it. I needed to hear that. To be reminded that God has me here for reasons unknown and with destinations just as foggy.
But His love is true, Amen.
His strength encourages, Amen.
He never fails, Amen.
And he does not lie, Amen.


Amen...

I once was told that I was a servant-almost to a fault. I am thankful for these words. Nothing brings me more joy than to serve. And I am thankful for the opportunities that continue to raise the words that are written on this heart.

Praise God.