Can You Dig It?

 On a run I had a thought. I was sitting on this cliff like I always do. I stare out. I try to remember what I was thinking about but for some reason it's as though my brain is constantly on idle. I know I have a lot on my mind. A lot to be thinking about and working through. However, when I realized I am not focused on what I should be, I try to think of what I was even thinking about. I can never remember. It's like my head just goes flat. I'm so distracted by my own thoughts that I can't even remember thoughts. I find at small moments that I dwell in my discontentment.

And then the cycle begins...

I'm sad because of that feeling of discontentment and think how I honestly have nothing to be discontent about. I have a job, a community and opportunities (that I feel like at times) that are peoples "once in a life time" opportunities are becoming more of my normal life style. I have adventure, love and The Lord working continually in my life. And yet here I sit dwelling on how I feel. All while the ice pick ticks away at my ego humbling me and all the while Satan taunts me like a mean little boy in preschool who teases saying girls can't do anything. YOU can't do anything. Clearly...It's a lie. But I can't help but still feel like I am ill equip to handle this life. Ill experienced to move forward in any way. I am discontent but am stuck sitting here not knowing what would even cause contentment. 

I feel the answer, Jesus, comes to mind. Sweet Jesus this is true. Which has brought me to that thought and which has caused me to step up in my own faith more and going outside to others instead of retreating inward to myself.

"Making plans to change the world, while the world is changing us" Dave Matthews you say this with in perfect timing of ink moving around on paper...We are changed in the acts and efforts to work here. Though the song itself  doesn't relate to serving the Lord and dealing with these forms of growth and searching... In fact, he's singing about a woman he's no longer with and how he can't even comprehend what day it is besides the day she left him. But that line, "Making plans to change the world". I try to change the world on a more regular basis these days. Not in a Super Man way, but putting more effort into connecting to build, grow and be strengthened by the Lord and all "While the world is changing us". Living this life and enduring these lessons and trials that God has set out for us to push through or fall to our knees in humility. To be reminded we can't do it without Him. Then rising up changed on a daily basis. 

So with that said, make plans but allow the Lord to change you. Because from what I've witnessed, when the Lord changes us, it is for the better. And better changes the world.

Sliding my hand across what I've written, these thoughts gain tangible discoveries about myself that I never would have stumbled upon if it weren't for my dear friend, perspective.

Dig deeper friends.