Continental Dividing

Back dated: Jan. 4th, 2013 11:01pm

I don't know how or why and I don't even care, but I laugh so hard when I'm with these three. Craig, Connor and Ellen. And though I am sad a little to leave tomorrow, it is time. I feel little bits of me staying in so many places but I'm so blessed.

I mean look at where I've been in the last two months alone. South Africa, New York City, Mountains in Pennsylvania, Colorado and back to California.

Africa, Concrete Jungle (where dreams are made of), Mountains/snow, Redwood trees. Places, faces, emotions and spaces in between the walls of this heart and I can't bare for it to be known at times because the senses and perspective reflected is simply too much to handle.

I don't want these days to end. I don't want these places, faces, emotions and spaces to fade even a shade lighter and far away than the day when it all began. It all begins some where. So does that mean there will always be an end? Was there ever a beginning to God? He is the only thing that has never begun or will never end.

It is amazing to know that seasons fall perfectly into place and how things can bloom more after something has already existed.

I have been growing fonder of the custom of asking people what their favorite song is. I like finding out and listening to it because I know that it strikes that chord with people. I know that that feeling you get when you listen to a really good song one that you feel like you could listen to over and over and it would never get old. An anthem, a memoir, a sound track. I like asking because I like hearing and when I hear it makes me think of them and there for I pray for them. They are good key reminders perhaps of where God needs my heart to seek out community and attention to those who have impacted me and have equally been impacted by God... And continue to be.

Rooted.

We stood around an island of moss yesterday. My vision focused in and out of the shadows of branch arms waving hello to our company and I could feel my heart sway with my body. We never stand quite as still as we believe. I closed my eyes and tried to be as still as possible. I could feel the weight shift on my toes to my heels, through my knees and hips while I swayed like the trees above us do so swiftly. Except, I didn't want to be moved. I wanted to physically be still before the Lord. Put all my movement into Him.

I have noticed that my heart has faltered like my balance more than several times this week alone. Like when you're about to fall asleep and your body jolts. I feel these flickers of light and breathe slowly jolting me back to where I am. As I looked around I noticed everyone swaying. Everyone in motion. I wondered how much they noticed it. Movements of ankles, knees, etc while we focus on other aspects of life. All the while what is truly holding us up, what is helping us to see, breathe, stand and speak is Gods creation with in us and His divine workings with in each of us, causing individuality.

 How do I get these thoughts from swaying on a trail? What does it matter? Because it doesn't matter. Not in a sense that it would make any logical sense except to prove the divine power of God. To have a thought, simplicity in observation spark something beautiful.

There have been many hours where I feel I have been greatly over thinking very small things. Becoming discouraged while equally trying to surrender many things. And yet if God can create me with these desires deep with in who I am, there are many more things beneath the surface, more detail, like muscles in motion, tendons and blood vessels. Nerves that are pinched with impatience creating the sense of urgency and pressure I put on my own shoulders daily instead of surrendering it entirely. I'd rather sit on it like a foot, allowing it to fall asleep instead of allowing Father God to revive me when ever I feel like I'm experiencing heart failure. It is something I am reminded to work on, on a daily basis.

Trees sway... As do we.

Been There, Done That.

Ever since I had begun a new relationship...With adventuring on a bicycle, I have also fallen in love with making lists that consist of things I had never done before. "Firsts"  It really makes life way more interesting and it gives different perspectives of how interesting life really is every day.
So here's another good list my friends.

Camp South Africa 2012 Uno's!

1. First time going "upstairs" in an airplane.
2. First time trying on a Rolex-$74,500 (Thanks Dima) Heathrow airport, London
3. First time Attending a South African wedding (Church 11/18/12)
4. First time peeing in a Mens room IN SOUTH AFRICA!
5. First time singing worship at the beach.
6. First time eating authentic Fish N' Chips.
7. First time seeing Great Scott perform in South Africa (Mannenburg Primary School) 11/20/12
8. First time using a pull chain toilet.
9. First time riding the cable car to the top of Table Mountain
10. First time walking through a massive cloud (Table Mountain).
11.First time eating a Grannadilla (Thanks Abby)!
12. First time having a translator (Alvina explaining steel the chicken in Afrikaans)
13. First time singing someone to sleep (Danzilique-"How he Loves us").
14. First time meeting and having a friend from the Congo (Yeah Marcus)!
15.First time going on a night hike in South Africa.
16. First time LEADING a night hike in South Africa (whew!)
17. First time playing hide and seek in South Africa.
18. First time singing and praying in fellowship under the stars.
19. First time star tipping in South Africa (Keegan, sorry you got sick Bru)
20. First time attending a Hillsong Church (Thanks Chanel)
21. First time sleeping outside on a bench in South Africa.
22. First time using a Go-Pro.
23. First time riding a bike in South Africa ( at The Ark).
24. First time petting a pig.
25. First time eating a Litchie (Thanks Rich).
26. First time running down Table Mountain (looking for the Lindsays').
27. First time running with Chanel (down table Mountain).
28. First time swimming in the Atlantic Ocean from another country.
29. First time eating Sardines (Anchovies?)...Add that to my lasts list too.
30. First time peeing off the tip of Africa!
31. First time helping take out a hair weave (thanks Pumie)!
32. First time smoking Hookah in South Africa (thanks Lindsay and Margaret)!
33. First time driving in South Africa.
34. First time ordering Kudu/ Billtongue
35. First time playing with puppies in South Africa (Helping hands- Blacky the Dog)
36. First time wine tasting in South Africa (Fairfield Winery)
(Upon returning State side)
37. First time walking/exploring NYC on my own.
38. First time visiting/exploring the Metropolitan Museum of Art (New York City 12/20/12)
39. First time dancing on a massive piano (F.A.O.Schwartz NYC)
39. First time taking a bus as transportation back to Scranton.














Keep adventuring.

Pin Holes in Canvas

When we returned to City of Refuge on one of our final days in the Surrounding area of Mannenburg, I was sick... I was tired and I felt like I should be doing way more than I was. We brought food to give away and as we arrived to the former gangster pad, we were greeted by a mass confusion of kids, mothers, fathers and  chaos. We were guarded as we were helped in with our supplies to bring hope. in our hands were answers to hundreds of prayers in the midst of heat and pressure between my eyes and ears..

When we walked to the back we reached for the light switch. Instant assumptions that maybe we aren't using the right switch and then switching to that light bulb idea of well lets just put in another light bulb...there aren't any more light bulbs. Their shelves were naked and their hope and trust in the Lord to bring more had been provided but with no physical light. So Pastor woody gave us candles. Let me rephrase. He gave ME candles to hold while sandwiches were being made and packets were being stuffed. I stood there with candles in hand watching the flickers reflect and glisten off knives and eyes. The glow feeling warmer as it warmed the chills I was having from a slight fever. Goose bumps to think of the predicament we were in but how it didn't even phase us after we fell upon the truth.

As I held the candles Pastor Woody came through while controlling the chaos outside the main room, he would look at me and say, "You're doing a great job". I said thank you a couple of times but I felt less and less like I was really doing much of anything that was really helping anyone in the middle of the desperate feelings of movement and feeding. Feeding the stomachs, heart, mind and soul. He walked through again and this time looked me in the eye and told me "You are really good at that". And this time I told him, "Thanks but honestly I don't really feel like I'm doing much of anything". He laughed and looked at me and pointed to the candle. "You have perhaps the most important job of all. After all, that is all that we are... Candle holders in a dark place".

Something blocked me from breathing, seeing, even hearing after that. God stopped everything so that all of that truth could sink in to the depths of every part of me. And I am thankful for that.

I have been feeling those deep moments as of late. I have been feeling more meaning in the midst of moments that normally are passed over and seen through. But God has been speaking more boldly to me than ever and it is strange yet beautiful to see the other way in which He has been making it all very trusting to me.

PTL