Thursday, October 29, 2015

Engaging in Engagements.

I've never been one to enjoy raising attention. To being elaborate in pursuing my own desires or planning and dreaming in the ways that perhaps we would when we were little. In my brain, if you want it bad enough, it is with in your reach. It is possible to do whatever you would like if it is the same desires as Gods.

I didn't know that entirely while I was growing up but I also didn't waste time with minor details like what my wedding dress would look like. I didn't pretend to walk down imaginary isle or dream of what my husband would look like. I more or less jumped to the conclusion that I just knew that one day I would be married. I didn't care how it happened or what the day looked like but all I knew was that that feeling of joining your life with someone, intentionally pursuing things together. Pursuing interests, callings, hardships and discovery, I knew that a marriage was something that I know my heart has always desired.

Yet in recent years I have been torn with knowing and trying to understand my relationship with Jesus and how that is ultimately the most important relationship we will ever uphold and pursue. So why would we spend time pursuing a different relationship if it is not Jesus? How can we divide our time when we should be fully devoting ourselves to the most high King?

I don't know why I always put God into a box but I do. I tend to think it impossible to divide my time for unconditional quality time and love when I have so many places to physically be and accomplish. But God is so much bigger than that. I have often times gotten jealous while living in California, sneaking down to the living room early in the morning to spend some good wholesome time with God, praying, reading his truths and promises when either someone was also present or someone else came down to also spend time with Him.

I was jealous because I wanted all of him and no desire to share him with anyone else. How could God be fully focused on me if he was with this other daughter that loved him so much? It's fully possible for God. He is Jealous for us. He is jealous for me and the time I spend with him. When it is hindered by these jealous thoughts instead of just fully being with him in that opportunity it complicates my heart. It can bring up distrust and can build walls to prevent trust from growing toward others.

I moved to Laramie in January and there were a lot of new things to acclimate to.

-Living alone for the first time ever after living with 6 other girls for 4 years.
-Weekends off
-A routine work schedule
-Snow and bitter cold VS rain and California Sunshine
-Evenings off

I had made my plans and was so excited to jump into this new season of my life completely content in living alone and really having a chance to hunker down with the Lord so that I could build my relationship with him and him alone. Looking back now I can very clearly hear Gods snickers and giggles of the determination behind my plans. Again I knew what I wanted so I was getting it.
The Fellow.

I was excited to move to Laramie to work for SROM and to pursue plugging in and serving the greater Laramie Community. With that I would be able to spend time growing deeper in relationship with former instructors turned close friends and living life with them and embarking on this thing called community. When Emily invited me over for dinner one night she had no intention on setting me up with one of her and her husbands closest friends. Neither did I. So much so that I was actually rather cold to this fellow and was trying very hard to push away even just plugging into community because I didn't want anything to come between me and Jesus.

Conviction set in and I could feel God moving my heart in asking me, "Do you think by pushing my body away that you can ultimately get closer to me? That not sharing in the goodness of me and sharing only pieces of yourself is really building and growing you the way that I intended?"

So I flexed and let down a couple of walls. This fellow and I went climbing with Emily on March 28th. Where we struck up a conversation and the subjects went deeper. They were detailed and they were meaningful. We began to learn each other and the ways that God designed us. The conversation moved from the crag to the coffee shop where I drank a pint of water and he drank nothing while we continued the conversation for 3 more hours. Realizing we were hungry we decided to go get Thai food and since then the conversation has never stopped. In talking with this fellow and in praying with this fellow I have discovered something better than being alone. I have discovered that God is truly and entirely present in and through another beloved that he designed. I've learned that through the unlearning of fear and past experience of falsely designed blue prints and accepting love back into the heart while talking through hard things and CHOOSING to love regardless has set my perspective and understanding on what it means to be Christ to someone. To sacrifice and die to ones self yet be made fully a live in each season as we walk, talk, challenge, celebrate and allow God to conquer through us.
Austin and I mid repel.

7 months have gone by with this fellow and on Saturday October 24th we went climbing. At the top of the climb we sat and talked about the places we had climbed and the fellow asked questions of names of rock formations that he pointed to. After spending some time, the wind had picked up and I suggested we head back down and do another climb. He said he had one more question for me. I turned to him and he was moving to get on one knee.

He asked if I would marry him and I asked if he was serious. He pulled a ring out of his pocket and I was shocked. He slipped it onto my finger and we finally got to say what we had been suppressing for months... How much we loved each other. We danced a bit and we prayed.
Before we repelled the entire way down we took a photo.

I have seen many relationships and I have desired some of the same things as other people have lived theirs out. I have decided what I don't want in a relationship and better understand the importance of having people other than your spouse in your life. The importance of people knowing you and knowing Christ in you. This fellow that I get to call my beloved husband for the rest of my life knows me well enough that I like to celebrate and include people who are near and dear to me. So he led me on a treasure hunt all around the Vedauwoo region.

Me and Stevie Jean
To the first place we climbed together just the 2 of us I found a compass and coordinates to plug in which led me to a box with head phones. He told me to come over and plug them in as we sat on a boulder. My best friends face was on the screen and I instantly began to sob. Words of encouragement flowed from her mouth and her genuine excitement about what the day and the future would consist of.
Me and Ry




Once I composed myself we headed to the next location where I found a letter from my best friend whom I've adventured with for years and has truly inspired me in so many ways. A best friend who loves unconditionally and hard in the ways that she encourages and speaks what is true.






Me and Emily

I wasn't sure if my heart could handle the surreal joy that it was undertaking any longer. And then we walked to find the next treasure. It was in a location I had never been but the note from the soul that I discovered in this place I have always felt like I have known for years. Someone who God had used as a huge part for this entire day happening in the first place. Again loosing it all I had the means of doing was thanking God for all of this. For his faithfulness.


Me and Liv

Onto the location where we saw Gods creation unfold in the night sky with what pleases him to please us by bringing awestruck wonder from meteors where I found a note from a beloved that brought so much love and encouragement to acknowledging all of the seasons in my life and how Gods faithfulness through all of it. And continuing to hit home about Gods promises and truths entering this new season with a husband.



Me with Whitney and Jacob

As we got to town and began to make celebratory phone calls, I was blown away by how many people knew this day would unfold the way that it had without my knowledge. I was completely surprised and was so, so in love with the life that God has blessed me with. I was overwhelmed and again surprised to see that a final note had arrived and it was full of excitement and reality that helped it all to sink in a bit more.



I'm so overwhelmed. My best friend, the love of my life has asked me to adventure into eternity with him and I honestly cannot express the love that continues to pour over the rim of my cup with joy, gratitude, thanksgiving and excitement to seek deeper with him and for this I am so thankful for Gods love and the promises that flow from this incredible relationship with my Abba Father.

I'm Engaged!



















-Keep Adventuring.









Hop on board my support team!
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Thursday, October 22, 2015

Driving In Circles.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."- Philippians 4:7

I drove 14 hours from Sacramento, California back to Laradise, Wyoming on Tuesday. While on this trek to complete the circle I had begun driving nearly three weeks ago. As I walked through my door and continued the reflection on what had just taken place, I felt overwhelmed by many things.

Mainly I felt overwhelmed by love. I felt overwhelmed by Gods strength manifested within me and his continual guidance and grace in my life especially over these last 2 weeks on the road. 

Over the last week in Northern California there were certain aspects that I had felt like I never left. There were good and hard things about this feeling. It was solidifying, however, to identify these hard things and how they still ripple in my life in Laradise. There were multiple conversations with those whom my heart has swelled for... That my heart has broken for and that the presence of God soaking our souls in his presence. These are just a few of the highlights that I have been dwelling on and seeing more and more how important every word has been as it has come out of my mouth and as it has entered my ears.

Over the course of these last two weeks, I have met with well over 50 appointments. meeting with people to tell people about the ministry I've been serving with, Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries and to share how God has been able to use me and my coworkers here to build the kingdom and bring glory to him through back country programming and discipleship.

Mostly planned out and entirely worth every extra mile and last minute meet up. My voice has not been this horse from conversing for a long time. And with in these conversations I rediscovered the importance of grace, humility and peace that is a constant. It is constant if we continue to acknowledge it and foster it.

Sadly I was terrible at getting photos with all who I met with and invited onto my support team but I have a few photos. To make things more interesting I have added photos from past seasons of life. Everything has led up to now. There is so much happening yet Gods peace soaks into every crack or crevasse. Thank you Jesus.

To all whose faces I was graced with the opportunity to meet up with and spend some time sharing vision and hear parts of vision God has put on your life and helping you step continually into light out of darkness, Thanks for you. I am greatly encouraged by all that God has spoken through each of you. Joy, Truth, Lamenting, and love. All of it.

Justin and Kaity 2015
Becky 2013
Ben and Lisa 2012
Joel 2015
Alicia and Robert 2015

Ruth 2015

Wendy 2015
Malina 2015

















To those who are pictured here and to those who are not. I can't express to each of you enough how thankful I am for the moments you sacrificed to meet with me and to listen to what I had to share about what's happening here in Laramie, Wyoming. For believing in me and what God is doing in this life we've been given. You know exactly who you are! Thank you for asking me hard questions and thank you for being real with me.

Idaho, Washington, Oregon, California.



-Keep Adventuring.


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Thursday, October 15, 2015

Preparedness

I've been on the road for 11 days now. started in Wyoming--Idaho--Washington--Oregon and now I'm in California.

I can honestly say that I felt as prepared as I could be for this journey. I planned out my visits and appointments accordingly and in a timely manner. And upon arriving to each location whether I'm driving or walking to a destination to meet anyone, I've been praying hard and honestly that God would use me continually. That his will be done and that hearts would hear him through all of these words and catching up that I speak. That I would be able to continue forward living with abandon for God.

Through out these conversations that I've had and the processing I have been doing on my long days of driving, it all kind of fell in place with words that were spoken to me yesterday during a meeting with an old friend. While catching each other up on life and speaking dreams and encouragement to one another she said something that was told to her.

"If you wait until you're ready to do something, you'll never be ready to do it."

#truth... So much truth was in that phrase that spoke true to my heart my soul and the reality of where I've come from and where I've gone to. If we ourselves wait to be ready to go forward or to pursue something we will never be in the anticipated readiness that we picture and set expectation for. Sometimes you just need to take that step off the cliff and hope and trust that there is a step just below the cloud surface that will hold your weight and the weight of your choices... In my imagination I like to think of that step being Gods finger or maybe a piece of his robe as He leads us forward.

I wasn't ready to move to California but I went.

I wasn't ready to ride my bike across the country in 2012 but I went.

I wasn't ready to lead a cross country bike tour in 2013 but still I went.

I wasn't prepared to go into the back country of Wyoming but still I went and was radically changed.

I wasn't prepared to move to Laramie Wyoming where all of these things prior ultimately prepared more for what I am on day 11 of.

All that to say God provides. He has provided and he will continue to provide. This journey isn't over yet but I am finding that what I've been doing has been so much better than I ever could have imagined or dreamed.

If you don't fight God for the reigns on your life you will often find that when you pray for a simple junk car to get you from point A to point B, often times He will give you a Mazda 3 hatch back that will take you from Pennsylvania to Laramie Wyoming to Idaho, Washington, Oregon and California. To remind you of his sovereignty.


Things I've been learning while on my support tour:
-Idaho is BEAUTIFUL
-Old jokes are still hilarious
-Gloomy days of driving can be very joy filled and restful.
-Support meetings and appointments aren't always around a table but instead on foot or bike on pavement or trail and hat's perfectly fine.
-Portland is in fact weird
-While in Leavenworth, WA it is always best to eat lots of Alaskan fish and chat about real wolverines.
-When in Portland going to Voodoo Donuts is a great idea
-Eating too many Voodoo Donuts when you're
gluten free is a bad idea (worth it)
-Sometimes the best encouragement is face to face chats on a water front
-Witnessing seasons of other peoples lives adding onto the seasons you did life with them causes the heart to swell with tremendous pride and joy.
-The smell of the Redwood Forest will probably always be one of my favorite smells. 
-Loving unconditionally is and will always be the best decision.

This time next week I'll be back in Laradise.

Hashtag Mt. Shasta Selfie














-Keep Adventuring.

Hop on board my Support Team!
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Thursday, October 8, 2015

Driving Seasons.

"Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done."- Philippians 4:6

The leaves are continually changing as the seasons come and go and just like each of these seasons has a different look and feel so do seasons of life. Through it all I can say confidently that I have struggled to not worry about my life or the life of others but I work on it daily. 

I recently got an email invitation to my 10 year high school reunion and a couple of my thoughts funneled into wondering what everyone was up to that I didn't actually keep in touch with. How many people were married who looked like what and still baffled on how it has been 10 years already since leaving the only thing that we knew and that was small town life "nestled in the hills of Summit". 

This current season of my life in that reflection is different than high school, different than college. It is continually different than the four seasons that change on the east coast. As each of these seasons changed I am reminded of something someone once said about to truly know someone you need to know them for 3 years. As these years have gone by it has been 5 years since I have lived in Pennsylvania and  almost a year since I have lived in California. and through this time I have met, seen and learned a lot of people.  Through all of this time I have been able to truly know people through rejoicing with them and lamenting with them in these various different seasons.

Downtown Boise, Idaho
It is within this current season of my own life that  I am realizing how incredible it is to witness these lives that have intertwined with mine and taught me so many things about this life and the life of others. It is currently within this seasons of getting to see and witness that swells my heart with so much joy and gladness of babies, new marriages, new living locations, new professions, and unveiling new passions and loves for new developments in lives that makes me overwhelmed with seeing Gods life working in and through all of it... God is so faithful.

This week and next week I get to see a few of these people and update them on my life in Laradise and invite them along for the journey. 

In recent thought process I have seen myself not worry about my own life while on this daily drive but simply asking God continually that he would use my life. That he would continually pursue others through me and bring opportunity to those who surround me. 

"That is all that we are, candle holders in a dark place".- Pastor Woody, Manenberg, South Africa

Or perhaps mirrors reflecting the light of Jesus...

Not sure if you know this or not but I am in the road promoting SROM and the work that God has been doing in this ministry.

Currently I am in Cashmere, Washington. I've been on the road for almost a week and it has been a whirlwind of smiles, real talk and meetings. I can't thank you enough for your hospitality and your considerations for you support with in my future time serving in the ministry of Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries. It has been a true pleasure and honor to share what  God has put on my heart o share with each of you that  I have visited and shared life with over this past week.
Foothills outside of Boise, Idaho

And it's not over yet!
I'll be in the Leavenworth area until Monday morning.
Then it's off to Seattle -->Portland--> Paradise--> Santa Rosa

Things that I've been thankful for in between my long drives:
-Opportunity to spend some long times in conversation with God
-Opportunity to see people in their seasons and truly hear them.
- Seeing falling leaves and changing weather.
Jeremy and I in Prosser, WA
-Sharing vision and light with many in the midst of movement. 
-Sharing meals and words with people.
-Opportunity to speak randomly and allow God to do that random speaking through me.
-Meeting loads of new people.
-Drinking lots of Chai.
-Songs that hit you in the feels.
-Safely reaching destinations and places to lay my head.
-Hard laughter and in depth words that bring so much meaning and perspective.

Thanks for the company thus far everyone! And thanks for letting me share life with you and what Gods been doing in my life as well!


My friend Jeremy owns his own restaurant in Prosser Washington and I am SOOOOOOO Excited and proud for him! if you're ever driving through you should check him out!




My drive into Cashmere yesterday was delightfully fall filled with all kinds of amazing foliage.







Keep Adventuring.


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Thursday, October 1, 2015

Stepping Out.

" 12 For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires."- Hebrews 4:12

God has been all up in my grill this week. He's been exposing some things that have been both hardening my heart as well as poisoning my relationship with him. And man oh man have his words that I have been reading been extremely convicting. This verse above I love the thought of God entering us in these ways. Physically cutting into us in between our working parts and stripping, trimming stuff in our lives so that we may function better. So that we are less distracted of such things and so that we can better focus on relationship with God which is the most important relationship. So that we may humble ourselves and repent. I am human and this is a constant struggle. 

Ugh. God loves me so much! Sometimes I really can't understand let alone handle this truth. But he does and he will continue to pour grace over me which exemplifies what I should continually do with others.He will never stop pursuing me. Not even if I asked him to. He is Relentless.

I'm not the only one. He loves all of us so HOARD and so deeply DAILY. Even when we don't love ourselves, Gods love is there. It will always be there. 

Stepping out into anything that involves the sacrifice of time or money or both is an invitation to let our faith flood in and trust that whatever we are doing, if it is for the glory of  God, he will bless it 300 fold. 

Think bigger. If we allow the sword to slice and hit us deeply it will not only free us from our bondage and from darkness that we may have stumbled into but...

God is a ripple effect. As long as we are fluid and transparent with him, he will spread himself across every depth of the pools of people with whom we are surrounded by as well as further beyond.

I will try to be as transparent with you as possible:

I leave this weekend for a two week journey that consists of a lot of driving, a lot of speaking and a lot of life on life happening. I'm a little nervous but mostly, I'm so excited to talk to people about what I am doing out here in Laradise working for Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries full time. 

I can't wait to drink some Chai with you and hear you!

Here's my route:
 
West coast I hope you're ready...




-Keep Adventuring.