Engaging in Engagements.

I've never been one to enjoy raising attention. To being elaborate in pursuing my own desires or planning and dreaming in the ways that perhaps we would when we were little. In my brain, if you want it bad enough, it is with in your reach. It is possible to do whatever you would like if it is the same desires as Gods.

I didn't know that entirely while I was growing up but I also didn't waste time with minor details like what my wedding dress would look like. I didn't pretend to walk down imaginary isle or dream of what my husband would look like. I more or less jumped to the conclusion that I just knew that one day I would be married. I didn't care how it happened or what the day looked like but all I knew was that that feeling of joining your life with someone, intentionally pursuing things together. Pursuing interests, callings, hardships and discovery, I knew that a marriage was something that I know my heart has always desired.

Yet in recent years I have been torn with knowing and trying to understand my relationship with Jesus and how that is ultimately the most important relationship we will ever uphold and pursue. So why would we spend time pursuing a different relationship if it is not Jesus? How can we divide our time when we should be fully devoting ourselves to the most high King?

I don't know why I always put God into a box but I do. I tend to think it impossible to divide my time for unconditional quality time and love when I have so many places to physically be and accomplish. But God is so much bigger than that. I have often times gotten jealous while living in California, sneaking down to the living room early in the morning to spend some good wholesome time with God, praying, reading his truths and promises when either someone was also present or someone else came down to also spend time with Him.

I was jealous because I wanted all of him and no desire to share him with anyone else. How could God be fully focused on me if he was with this other daughter that loved him so much? It's fully possible for God. He is Jealous for us. He is jealous for me and the time I spend with him. When it is hindered by these jealous thoughts instead of just fully being with him in that opportunity it complicates my heart. It can bring up distrust and can build walls to prevent trust from growing toward others.

I moved to Laramie in January and there were a lot of new things to acclimate to.

-Living alone for the first time ever after living with 6 other girls for 4 years.
-Weekends off
-A routine work schedule
-Snow and bitter cold VS rain and California Sunshine
-Evenings off

I had made my plans and was so excited to jump into this new season of my life completely content in living alone and really having a chance to hunker down with the Lord so that I could build my relationship with him and him alone. Looking back now I can very clearly hear Gods snickers and giggles of the determination behind my plans. Again I knew what I wanted so I was getting it.

The Fellow.

I was excited to move to Laramie to work for SROM and to pursue plugging in and serving the greater Laramie Community. With that I would be able to spend time growing deeper in relationship with former instructors turned close friends and living life with them and embarking on this thing called community. When Emily invited me over for dinner one night she had no intention on setting me up with one of her and her husbands closest friends. Neither did I. So much so that I was actually rather cold to this fellow and was trying very hard to push away even just plugging into community because I didn't want anything to come between me and Jesus.

Conviction set in and I could feel God moving my heart in asking me, "Do you think by pushing my body away that you can ultimately get closer to me? That not sharing in the goodness of me and sharing only pieces of yourself is really building and growing you the way that I intended?"

So I flexed and let down a couple of walls. This fellow and I went climbing with Emily on March 28th. Where we struck up a conversation and the subjects went deeper. They were detailed and they were meaningful. We began to learn each other and the ways that God designed us. The conversation moved from the crag to the coffee shop where I drank a pint of water and he drank nothing while we continued the conversation for 3 more hours. Realizing we were hungry we decided to go get Thai food and since then the conversation has never stopped. In talking with this fellow and in praying with this fellow I have discovered something better than being alone. I have discovered that God is truly and entirely present in and through another beloved that he designed. I've learned that through the unlearning of fear and past experience of falsely designed blue prints and accepting love back into the heart while talking through hard things and CHOOSING to love regardless has set my perspective and understanding on what it means to be Christ to someone. To sacrifice and die to ones self yet be made fully a live in each season as we walk, talk, challenge, celebrate and allow God to conquer through us.

Austin and I mid repel.

7 months have gone by with this fellow and on Saturday October 24th we went climbing. At the top of the climb we sat and talked about the places we had climbed and the fellow asked questions of names of rock formations that he pointed to. After spending some time, the wind had picked up and I suggested we head back down and do another climb. He said he had one more question for me. I turned to him and he was moving to get on one knee.

He asked if I would marry him and I asked if he was serious. He pulled a ring out of his pocket and I was shocked. He slipped it onto my finger and we finally got to say what we had been suppressing for months... How much we loved each other. We danced a bit and we prayed.
Before we repelled the entire way down we took a photo.

I have seen many relationships and I have desired some of the same things as other people have lived theirs out. I have decided what I don't want in a relationship and better understand the importance of having people other than your spouse in your life. The importance of people knowing you and knowing Christ in you. This fellow that I get to call my beloved husband for the rest of my life knows me well enough that I like to celebrate and include people who are near and dear to me. So he led me on a treasure hunt all around the Vedauwoo region.

Me and Stevie Jean

To the first place we climbed together just the 2 of us I found a compass and coordinates to plug in which led me to a box with head phones. He told me to come over and plug them in as we sat on a boulder. My best friends face was on the screen and I instantly began to sob. Words of encouragement flowed from her mouth and her genuine excitement about what the day and the future would consist of.

Me and Ry

Once I composed myself we headed to the next location where I found a letter from my best friend whom I've adventured with for years and has truly inspired me in so many ways. A best friend who loves unconditionally and hard in the ways that she encourages and speaks what is true.

Me and Emily

I wasn't sure if my heart could handle the surreal joy that it was undertaking any longer. And then we walked to find the next treasure. It was in a location I had never been but the note from the soul that I discovered in this place I have always felt like I have known for years. Someone who God had used as a huge part for this entire day happening in the first place. Again loosing it all I had the means of doing was thanking God for all of this. For his faithfulness.

Me and Liv

Onto the location where we saw Gods creation unfold in the night sky with what pleases him to please us by bringing awestruck wonder from meteors where I found a note from a beloved that brought so much love and encouragement to acknowledging all of the seasons in my life and how Gods faithfulness through all of it. And continuing to hit home about Gods promises and truths entering this new season with a husband.

Me with Whitney and Jacob

As we got to town and began to make celebratory phone calls, I was blown away by how many people knew this day would unfold the way that it had without my knowledge. I was completely surprised and was so, so in love with the life that God has blessed me with. I was overwhelmed and again surprised to see that a final note had arrived and it was full of excitement and reality that helped it all to sink in a bit more.



I'm so overwhelmed. My best friend, the love of my life has asked me to adventure into eternity with him and I honestly cannot express the love that continues to pour over the rim of my cup with joy, gratitude, thanksgiving and excitement to seek deeper with him and for this I am so thankful for Gods love and the promises that flow from this incredible relationship with my Abba Father.

I'm Engaged!



















-Keep Adventuring.









Hop on board my support team!
Here's How!