Conditioning To Be Unconditional.

"If I speak in tongues of men or of angels, but do not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift to prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and Give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4Love it patient, love is kind. I does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self seek-ing, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres... 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."    - 1Corinthians 13:1-7, 13

There is something large and unexplainable to say about grace in life and the lives of others. Grace has been given to me so many times in the middle of a personal fight for what I would see as fit or not fit for grace. I have struggled with grace for others. I have most definitely struggled to know and accept grace in my own life.

With each trip and each stumble, I have felt anger, shame, guilt, and sadness. Sometimes these emeotions overrule grace and cause distraction from salvation and truth.

"12God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. 13And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, "God is tempting me." God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. 14Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death."- James 1:12-15

See with out God reigning over my life I only see bits and pieces of the plan on my life with no direction or faith of how to get to where I desire to be. He has placed these desires within me to begin with. And though I see my journey as one way He sees the approach completely different by the plans to equip, prosper and bless...

Over the years as I have pursued, I have stumbled and wandered away in various ways. I get distracted by trend, by culture, by flesh and other things. One of two ways: Exercise of my faith and the obedience of spending quality time with the Lord and setting my sight on what He has for my life VS what I think I want and what I think I need.

Recently I have realized a few things that while I don't feel proud of it, I can say with confidence that Gods grace in my life, upon my life is overwhleming at times. Some times it feels like a bridge to a song. When music and lyrics climax to the point where you just can't even bear to keep the truth with in you but instead belt it out loud and shakey because as your mouth reflects the truth that is being shared with you, you loose control of your abilities because of Gods presence through verbal confirmation.

This is how I have been feeling. While I surrender certain things I still tend to have a pinky finger on it. Or sometimes perhaps feel like this is something I can handle, I don't need to burden God with it. Through these types of choices I have found that I honestly do give my self in pieces.

Because of my brokenness and desperate need for my savior I know that by default my love can be the following...

Passive
Disengaged
Absent
Distracted
Unloyal
Rebelious
Broken
Insecure
Selfish
Conditional

As I have been reflecting on these things the last few days I have been thinking about how imperfect and in desperate need of grace and salvation that I am... But God is not me. And regardless of my rebellion and distracted nature, as well as broken, selfish and insecure, God still chooses to give Himself entirely to me. 
I'll say it again, He pursues vigorously and endlessly.
This thought overwhelms me daily.

"You don't give yourself in pieces,
you don't hide yourself to tease us".

That truth is overwhelming just like the bridge to the song that that quotes truth has come from.
Pieces- Amanda Cook

One song of so many from the Album: Brave New World

"This album represents a voyage- a voyage of discovering that 

God has been on out side all along and that He has given us

 permission to wrestle with truth, Process pain, and ask big 

questions. This album is a reminder that along our pilgrimage

 there is invitation to be transformed by perfect Love." 

-Amanda Cook

New Years Resolution (New Life Resolution):
-Give all of myself. It's the least I can do for What Jesus did for me.




-Keep Adventuring.












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