These Old Feeling Bones.

I have been unable to do something I love consistently for a while, running. I have been un able to do some thing I have loved consistently for a while, being active and getting into a good sweat. I had been praying through this concept for a while and thinking perhaps I was just so far out of shape that I hadn't remembered what true out of shape felt like. I had accepted this and was willing to begin from absolute scratch on running, stretching, ab work outs and nutrition.  However as the initial soreness of new work outs and body conditioning in the first couple of weeks passed I have noticed something abnormal. As I return from runs I found my back and hips have taken an extremely long time to recover. Even after a short 2 mile jog my back and hips feel absolutely wrecked. Even standing for long periods of time cause lower back pain that brings muscles continual seizing. Continually I have been struggling with this moderate thorn in my side bringing all of my thoughts back to the pain in my back every hour of every day. It is this thing that truly distracts me from joy, from focus, from hope. "It's still there".

This isn't something that should be happening, right?

Let me show you right where it is currently the worst. Mind you I have had dry needling done over a period of time, have gone through consistent physical therapy and have even had my stride and the way I run studied. Things had been progressing and things seemed fine... Yet this issue still arises... And it is noticeably getting worse.

Because of this I feel a bit of a spiral effect in my life and this is honestly where I am struggling with my faith currently. It is so easy to say that we should praise God through all circumstances... When I feel trapped in my own body because of not being able to push myself because I can't breathe, because of physical pain in my back and because of exhaustion even after sleeping FOREVER... I am stubborn in this not knowing why but just trusting God thing...

I know... I KNOW that I have done A LOT of things with my body in my short 29 years.

-I have fallen out of countless trees one of which in high school was very intense.
- I have thrown myself from many swings and fallen off many monkey bars.
-I have tried to escape my stroller and the result was knocking one of my front teeth out
-I have pretended to be a penguin on ice in my back yard with my brother and the result was knocking out my other front tooth
-I had tried running in Middle school and at the time I had been working with a diet of eating atleast a sleeve of oreos after school... So yeah that wasn't working.
- I have gone over the handle bars of many bikes
- I have done a lot of running
- I have ridden my bike across the country, twice.
- I have been in ski accidents and injuries.
- I have carried a lot of weight on my back from backpacking.
- I have put impact on my knees and hips from being in a harness for multiple years hanging in redwood trees, ziplining and belaying.
- I have slept comfortably on my stomach for years.


But even through all of these things... Not once to I regret any of these experiences. They have grown me. God has grown me through these things and it has been the call that God put on my heart. Especially the later events on the abbreviated list.

My point is that yes I see these things and yes ultimately I believe that there is reason for this. Discomfort is not my forte. Long term discomfort at least. But I know, I KNOW this too shall pass and that I should be praising Him regardless... But recently I have been finding it very hard to truly believe in the depths of my spirit and soul and to be OK with it...

At bible study last night we worshipped together and the song of choice was this song
Kristene DiMarco- Take Courage

I am trying... I am trying my hardest...


Prayers appreciated.




-Keep Adventuring.

All Who Have Breathe Can Sing.

I have noticed a positive pattern when I am falling into a funk of my depression or deeper into a funk than I would prefer. I listen to Josh Garrels. His music is filled with sorrowful joy. His voice bring comfort in the acceptance of somber rest through grief and hope in continuing forward at times. I have met and spoken with him on a couple of occasions after his shows and there is so much peace and love from the Lord that overflows out of him. It is absolutely beautiful.

Truth be told this is the first real funk I've fallen into while being married and something that I have noticed the most is that I feel like I would rather not speak at all and dwell with in this feeling rather than try to explain how I'm feeling to my husband. But through this struggle I am finding strength through the forcing myself to open up and stretch out instead of curling up in to the fetal position waiting for it to pass. "I really don't feel like talking about this at all right now".  But when would I ever feel like talking about it? Better now than never, right?


I stumbled upon a gem today while updating people on the life God has called me to in ministry.
The Children's Song

Beautiful things are resilient. As I sat in the wilderness by myself I observed a butterfly. The wind was whipping and howling while the sun shinned. This butterfly that was so determined to pollinate the flower that it was upon gripped for dear life and endured the wrath of Gods breathe as it help on to continue what it was ultimately called to do, spread life and beauty. Perhaps it doesn't even know that's what it's been created to do...

This is what God was speaking to me. "I have made you far stronger and more capable than this butterfly clinging to my creation. Let this represent what you too are colonizing while you're right where I need you to be. Above all else know that I am providing these harsh winds of trial but I will soon make things calm. Persevere."

Thank you Jesus...






-Keep Adventuring. (Even when you feel like you don't want to.)

Wonderful Distraction.UW MBA

Last weekend was my first weekend back full time in Laradise after a packed summer of backpacking, hiking, climbing and loving many while being loved unconditionally. After church Austin and I met up with our pastor and his wife and little baby boy to toss the Frisbee around and spend some time catching up from inconsistent summer weekends out and about.

We just recently got a new pastor at our church they are from Colorado and it all seemed to have happened rather quickly. But since May, I have found myself very thankful for the transitions that are currently happening in our church. God is faithful and in the sea that is Laramie Wyoming I continually feel this wave of change and contentment in Gods moving hands in our growing community. Nate, our new pastor, and his wife Brielle have been a huge answer to prayer. Their little boy Hudson is just presh and it has been a huge honor to be apart of Gods plan for our church.

We met up with Nate, Brielle and Hudson at the park on Sunday and as we lost momentum in throwing the Frisbee we moved closer to the playground where Hudson was so intrigued by his bike his ball and another groups ball. We were chatting and Hudson was wandering around the playground and Brielle had mentioned that Hudson was beginning to explore more and was becoming more comfortable with not being right next to his parents but instead stepping further away. We watched him for a bit and then I went over to him and as we both looked at the huge slide, I looked at him and asked, "Hudson, do you want to go on the slide with me"? His eyes got huge and in a little growl he answered, "YES!" He began to run towards the slide but not even 8 feet into his little sprint he tripped and fell on all fours in some sand under a tree. In this transitional trip his eyes were directed towards the ground where his hands felt the sand and the dirt. Completely forgetting about the slide he was mesmerized with the sand.

This struck me as absolutely beautiful. He is a child and a child of God at that. He is enjoying all that is around him and overwhelmed with interest and exploration to the point where the seemingly most important most exciting thing that is in his view is trumped and delayed by a passion and pleasure to explore what has been revealed to him.

I see the relations to this in my own life and how our plans are not Gods at times but in the midst of our plan break downs Gods plan comes through in unexpected ways creating room for discovery and a new angel of what it looks like to take the journey as apposed to just reaching the destination.

After a lovely session of digging and feeling the sandy ground we then remembered that there was a slide calling to us and we climbed and ventured to the top and slid down exiting with static filled bed heads, laughing and loving the simple fulfillment of the joy that followed.

What a lovely reminder that came at the perfect time as I transitioned back into off season work from our very busy summer. It was truly and incredible summer with so many incredible faces, hearts and spirits crying out and dancing for the Lord! and I am very much looking forward to continually processing and reflecting on all the places God used my feet to trek to this summer alongside so many.

With the end of that thought I give you some summer highlights! Enjoy!

-Keep adventuring.

UW MBA Students in the Wind River Mountain Range

Fellow Otters in Leigh Lake in Grand Teton National Park

Our brother Avritt  getting baptized in Klondike Lake in the Snowy Range Mountains

Our 10/10 Adult team Posing in front of the Snowies

Our fellow Otters beginning our hike to Inspiration Point in Grand Teton NP

Sledding in July in the Snowies, who wouldn't?!

UW MBA Team Killing the game on the top of Warrior Peak in the Wind River Range

All about the Snickers at the Summit.

Hop on board my Stellar Support Team!
Here's How!