Cue Alarm Clock.

I had a weird dream last night. A dream that I don't think I've ever experienced before. Not the first part at least. This dream started off as I was trying to locate my Dad in a certain Circumstance. He was a spy or undercover. Why I assumed it was my Dad? I have no idea because he looked nothing like my Dad. But as the dream unfolded my heart felt more and more oppressed. He vanished seemingly to contemplate what life would have been like if he had maybe never met my Mother. He escaped and erased the past as if the life I had remembered never happened. But within my dream the past that I had remembered was filled with injustice, oppression, abuse and darkness (which is much darker looking to me than the majority of my childhood recollections).

I was trapped in a room covered in dirt and pain for what seemed like a lifetime. But then something happened. and these things began to reverse. After what seemed like an eternity, The door was opened and I walked out into the life that had seemingly been indeed if my Dad had never met my Mother but someone else. I was still seemingly me but everyone around me was different. Is this fate? Would this have happened in real life? My life in this way was full of earthly riches and spoils. I walked around the house and down stairs. I passed my brother who was clearly my brother but looked nothing like him. Was he the same as I?

As I got down to the basement it was an entire lagoon of a playground and exploration that seemed to have been abandoned as any toy would because of older growing children loosing interest. So naturally there were stray cats everywhere.

This is where the dream became familiar again. A certain cat gains interest in me in a very negative way. Hissing and coming closer to me and then keeps trying to attack me. It grabs hold of my left thumb and I am thrashing it around trying to knock in unconscious. The dream cuts to another scene and this cat is still prowling trying to find the right angel to attack and I have a hamer in my hand and at this point I am trying hard to physically hit it and injure it enough to grab hold of the idea that it should stop attacking me. but every time I try to hit it, my reflexes fail and I only jab or graze the cat while it's confused looking at me hissing.

This cat part of the dream I have remembered on two other occasions of rest. All I know is that it fuels my dislike for cats even more.

... Cue alarm clock.


For as long as I can remember I have always had vivid dreams. It's like Inception but clearly not.

I know that I am not the only one who wonders what life would be like in a different light, perspective, life, or events. Though I can't say for sure what this dreams subject matter even was there are aspects that I think about as the reversal of the dirt and grime that began to disappear on me in that locked room and then the door openning after what seemed like an eternity, I see that as Jesus entering my life and how even if my life was different.

It is extremely far fetched to wonder if I would still be the same kind of person if I hadn't been born from my Mothers womb but someone elses. Regardless this is just a dream and I am all the more thankful that I was born from my Mothers womb. I am glad I look like my parents and no one elses. I am joyful that I have their traits and heritage. I am thankful that my Dad did choose my Mom because through it my brother and I were created and I am thankful for their lives and mine.

It's truly amazing what can happen during your deepest R.E.M.s. Perhaps we must be more careful in the types of rest that we seek and gain. If we spend too much time dwelling and translating, we may miss the simplicity of Gods love and passion for us.

I will try not to spend the rest of my days trying to translate an insane house feline attacking my left thumb...




-Keep Adventuring.




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The Time is Now

Perseverance:
- The quality that allows someone to continue trying to do something even if it is difficult.
- Continued effort to do or achieve something despite of difficulties, failure, or opposition.
- Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.
- Steady persistence in a course or action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

When thinking about this word today, I can't help but feel like so many parts of me fail to persevere in obedience. Recently I have been dreaming about what life would feel like if I wasn't drained constantly. How it would feel to not feel exhausted on a daily basis. To actually wake up and feel refreshed.

In times past I have misinterpreted Gods words toward my heart and flesh to push harder and get through it instead of resting in his presence and strength. In the same way I have also tried and continue to try and gain my own rest and comfort, not Gods.

- Knocking my teeth out when I was a little one
- Transferring schools because I had trouble reading
- Middle school
- High School
- Running the mile during Field Hockey Practice
- Pre-season Track Practice
- Parental Separation
- Parental Divorce
- Dysfunction
- Relative death
- Dog death
- Depressed thoughts of suicide
- My first 5k
- My first 10k
- Half Marathon(s)
- A full marathon
- Heartbreak
- Oppression 
- Broken bones
- Scrapes
- Miles and miles on bikes
- Tired limbs
- A tired heart
- Exhaustion

etc...

Looking back, God is the only reason why I was able to make it through any of that. Whether I had acknowledged Him in each of these moments or not.

The difference in all of these experiences is I can personally see where I acknowledged Gods strength above my own and where I wrestled like Jacob so many times... I can also see where I kept my arms glued to my sides instead of reaching out for Him to pull me up and carry me.

 31What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has Chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who dies- more than that, who was raised to life- is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
36As it is written:

"For the sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."- Romans 8:31-39


...The time is now.


-Keep Adventuring.






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Conditioning To Be Unconditional.

"If I speak in tongues of men or of angels, but do not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift to prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and Give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4Love it patient, love is kind. I does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self seek-ing, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres... 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."    - 1Corinthians 13:1-7, 13

There is something large and unexplainable to say about grace in life and the lives of others. Grace has been given to me so many times in the middle of a personal fight for what I would see as fit or not fit for grace. I have struggled with grace for others. I have most definitely struggled to know and accept grace in my own life.

With each trip and each stumble, I have felt anger, shame, guilt, and sadness. Sometimes these emeotions overrule grace and cause distraction from salvation and truth.

"12God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. 13And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, "God is tempting me." God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. 14Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death."- James 1:12-15

See with out God reigning over my life I only see bits and pieces of the plan on my life with no direction or faith of how to get to where I desire to be. He has placed these desires within me to begin with. And though I see my journey as one way He sees the approach completely different by the plans to equip, prosper and bless...

Over the years as I have pursued, I have stumbled and wandered away in various ways. I get distracted by trend, by culture, by flesh and other things. One of two ways: Exercise of my faith and the obedience of spending quality time with the Lord and setting my sight on what He has for my life VS what I think I want and what I think I need.

Recently I have realized a few things that while I don't feel proud of it, I can say with confidence that Gods grace in my life, upon my life is overwhleming at times. Some times it feels like a bridge to a song. When music and lyrics climax to the point where you just can't even bear to keep the truth with in you but instead belt it out loud and shakey because as your mouth reflects the truth that is being shared with you, you loose control of your abilities because of Gods presence through verbal confirmation.

This is how I have been feeling. While I surrender certain things I still tend to have a pinky finger on it. Or sometimes perhaps feel like this is something I can handle, I don't need to burden God with it. Through these types of choices I have found that I honestly do give my self in pieces.

Because of my brokenness and desperate need for my savior I know that by default my love can be the following...

Passive
Disengaged
Absent
Distracted
Unloyal
Rebelious
Broken
Insecure
Selfish
Conditional

As I have been reflecting on these things the last few days I have been thinking about how imperfect and in desperate need of grace and salvation that I am... But God is not me. And regardless of my rebellion and distracted nature, as well as broken, selfish and insecure, God still chooses to give Himself entirely to me. 
I'll say it again, He pursues vigorously and endlessly.
This thought overwhelms me daily.

"You don't give yourself in pieces,
you don't hide yourself to tease us".

That truth is overwhelming just like the bridge to the song that that quotes truth has come from.
Pieces- Amanda Cook

One song of so many from the Album: Brave New World

"This album represents a voyage- a voyage of discovering that 

God has been on out side all along and that He has given us

 permission to wrestle with truth, Process pain, and ask big 

questions. This album is a reminder that along our pilgrimage

 there is invitation to be transformed by perfect Love." 

-Amanda Cook

New Years Resolution (New Life Resolution):
-Give all of myself. It's the least I can do for What Jesus did for me.




-Keep Adventuring.












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Breathe In Truth.

"For since the creation of the world God's Invisible qualities- his eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse."-Romans 1:20

Please take a moment...

Breathe it in and let it out the shouts of praises for the truths of God's sovereign love for us His Beloveds, is righteous, true, deep and glorious!

T'is the season! This time last year I was flying into Pennsylvania to spend Christmas and New Years on the East coast while getting ready to begin a new season in my life, in Wyoming and at Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries. 

This year I have been making gifts and reflecting as the processing continues from my time in California. While my heart and mind process my time in big tress working with big hearts I am reminded of Gods wondrous presence.

How could something so huge like a Redwood or Sequoia tree ever come from a tiny seed one of 60 to 100 seeds that come from the tiny cones of these trees? When thinking about this incredible creation. I think of these things relating to our own lives and the simplicity of Gods love, compassion and pursuit for us.

Parable of the Seeds

13Then Jesus said to them, Don't you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? 14The farmer sows the word. 15Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. 16Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word at once receive it with joy. 17But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 18Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. 20Others, like seed sown in good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop- some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what is sown."- Mark 4:13-20

Seek harder and deeper

We can see ourselves as seeds. We can also see others in our lives as seeds. Or we can see situations or circumstances as seed in our lives or the lives of others. These massive trees have the ability to grow from the tiny seeds in which are spread upon the ground by falling cones. The conditions need to be perfect in order for growth to happen. Things like good soil, sunlight, landscape, weather, space, water source and timing. God has every tree figured out because it is His creation. The succession of a forest is amazingly beautiful filled with life, death and rebirth. A lot like our lives, don't you think?

Some trees have abilities to move and grow to reach toward where the sunlight is. Or they are adaptive to be able to withstand the darker areas of the forest.

Something I find most interesting is that the only way for sequoia trees cones to open and germinate they must be exposed to high heat or fire. Through high heat and trial, we are too brought opportunity and possibility that with out those things we would not have opportunity to grow and be prepared and strengthened through these things.

Exposure is a magnificent thing! Don't you think?

December 8th, 2009 continued the cultivation and planting in my life from Gods relentless pursuit in my life for as long as I can remember. Through fiery trial and rejoicing I have been brought here to Laramie to be rooted even deeper in the great love and call on my life as a Beloved daughter of the most high.

My prayer is that whoever reads this would be able to give themselves opportunity to reflect on the seeds in their lives and how God has not only been cultivating them but also what those seeds of various subject have grown into.

-Keep Adventuring.

 

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Lost in Translation.

There are many things that I tend to take for granted. There are many things that I often think that once the experience has happened, we are all "in the clear" or "on the downhill" of the climb. But the truth is that some experiences open doors to taller mountains and steep walls that God calls us to climb out of. At times perhaps these walls seem so tall that it is easier to stay with in the dark depths. At times we push forward and upward but sometimes it feels easier to settle into darkness and let it override the truths that have been shown and planted. it is at these points when the thing that God created begins to manifest and brings opportunity for His hands to become physical through others in what we call the body of Christ... Community.

It is something we should not fight even for a moment. we are not called to believe a lie that is placed with in us that we can't do anything to help. If this was the case, why would we feel the initial calling to action in the first place? We must allow God to work through us... I am human and I can't change anything or anyone but God can work through me and change the hearts of Kings. To him be the glory, forever and ever.

When I was little I went through the stage in my life where I asked the question "why?" all the time. I'm sure some of you are currently going through this phase with either your own little ones or little ones that are near and dear to you. Curiosity is planted deep within us from the very beginning. We seek answers from the very moment we breathe in the air of this world. Sometimes it is the sweet smell of childhood or the refreshment of forest or mountain air. Sometimes it is stale air that we feel stuck and stuffed into while we continue to seek answers to our "whys".

There is somewhere between childhood and where you now might stand that the "why" has become distorted or lost in translation. Don't stop asking why. But be reminded that that specific question is for Gods answer alone at times. We seek to learn as much as we can. Fast internet connections and Google searches can easily lower our patience in gaining answers for why life is the way that it is. I know many times I have seeked with questions to the wrong sources or  view points only to gain another step into darkness or a torn expectation of what I didn't want to hear.

"In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God."

- Psalm 10:4

"5They will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God their Savior. 6Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, God of Jacob. 7Lift up your heads, you gates; be lifted up you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in." 

-Psalm 24:5-7

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." 

-Hebrews 11:6

There are so many questions that we do not have answers to but this doesn't mean we should stop seeking. To just accept what we believe might be false but instead seek God to show us answers with in ourselves, our lives and the lives of others.

"No temptations has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

-1 Corinthians 10:13

-Keep Seeking.

-Keep Adventuring.

Difference Maker In Skinny Jeans

I'm going to go out on a bit of a long limb here but there is something that I have been thinking about for a couple of weeks now and the different perspectives that we see through it all. I'm talking about material things. Materialistic lifestyles and possessions that we have but honestly aren't really ours.

Material items can be a form of expression. They can be a form of art or deemed as a ticket to popularity or self worth. We can posses these items but these items can also posses us. Our tunnel vision can ensue when we see something visually pleasing which then triggers the "need" aspect VS the "want". It can lead us to making rash decisions and even poor life choices depending on our mentality of where these items are ranked in our own lives.

You can call me a hipster, go ahead. I really enjoy some of the styles that are deemed "Hipster" or even "Hippie" Clothing in its self can be a form of expression or a form of fitting in. Often times our fashion and our cultures or personal backgrounds don't tend to clash.

Let me dig a bit deeper... Bring yourself back to high school (As hard as that might be). Do you remember walking around the halls and knowing who you got along best with. You knew your best friends and you knew who you "didn't want to hang out with" This may be a far fetched stereotype but perhaps think about movies like Mean Girls or Never Been Kissed. Think about how the "nerd" of the movie whether a main character or not has always been the butt of jokes or the plot line of transformation. How with in that the clothes we wear and the ways we make ourselves look can feel crucial compared to how God has created us to be.

My other perspective that relates to this is the fact that we as Christians or Jesus lovers, people lovers, whatever you would like to call Gods children, we are called to walk alongside everyone. We are not dressed in physical righteousness of white robes or gold trimmed jeans but rather we are normal people who blend in just like Jesus had.

"Paul a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God-"   Romans 1:1

"But when God, who set me apart from my mother's womb and called me by his grace, was pleased"- Galatians 1:15

"Such a high priest truly meets our need- one who is holy blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens."- Hebrews 7:26

God works through us to work alongside in others lives.

With in this life, these cultures and this era even in eras past it is always better to blend in and be cautious when making new friends or creating community in a foreign place. It kind of makes me think of that guy who took a long time to be able to live among a pack of wolves... To dress alike, to act alike to come along side someone and to build trust with them. To blend in with what those around us find comfort in and build life and giving living water with in that.

I like style. I might even be a hipster but clothes are a huge way to relate in our culture and multiple other cultures. It brings something similar. something to relate to. "I like your shoes." or "I have the same scarf." often begin conversations more than we ever have nerve to just walk up to someone and say hello. A lot of time we make the first connection based on known commonalities.

I wont wear all skinny jeans or pattagucci (Patagonia brand) but I also wont base my connections or relationships off of what we wear what we eat, who we succeed or fail to be everyday. Instead I'd like to blend in and come along side of whoever God calls me to minister too. He has given us blessed gifts and ideas of fashion and expression to communicate more than we even realize.

So what can we communicate back?


-Keep Adventuring.







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Short & Sweet.

I need you to do something. 

Read 1 John
Read all of it, not just glimpses. Drink it in and let it quench you with truth and capture your heart in light as it ignites you brighter and brighter as the veil is removed.

Secondly I have had two songs on repeat this week and last week and possibly the week before.
Listen to them on repeat...

In Over My Head- Jenn Johnson

Pieces- Amanda Cook

That is all.

-Keep Adventuring.




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