"Juice" ...It's the code word for Help.

As I was laying on the trampoline tonight in my sleeping bag answering a question, I listened to the words coming out of my own mouth flowing like I had known them for years.
This place is home. This place, these times are my comfort. The way that I have been feeling and the things my eyes have seen in this last week, this last month, this last year, have all been overwhelmingly amazing. I find myself walking up a trail or looking a student in the eyes after they've accomplished something incredible in class and just becoming overwhelmed with joy. So much that I almost can't breathe because of how real it feels.

My heart has also broken. When these kids minds get the best of them. When they're fears overwhelm their minds and bodies so much that they can't even hear me speak to them. My heart breaks when they are frustrated and they want to accomplish the task but can't.

I had a student come up to me after morning classes today, Lucas. He has a fear of heights and has been working so hard to try and move past it. We worked together yesterday on the Rope Rocket but he just couldn't push himself off. I could see how badly he wanted it. After yesterdays class I was so emotionally exhausted and broken from these somewhat "failed" attempts. However I'm realizing now that they aren't failed at all. They are triumph and growth. How awesome it is to see a child grow and push themselves further beyond anything they thought they would attempt to accomplish.
When we were on the Leap of Faith today, he climbed half way up and couldn't climb any further to the platform above him. However he tried to jump to the next hold on the tree slipping...trusting that I had him on Belay. I did. I was so proud of him. He went up higher than he even thought he could and that's truly all that matters, that he was up there and he was trusting. As the morning class came to a close I was on belay with a staff member who was climbing down from on top of the leap and the class had gone. It was silent but then I heard little footsteps coming down the path towards me. It was him, Lucas. He stood next to me for a moment while I belayed and then he told me something that blew my heart and mind so close to heaven. He told me that he was happy I was there to talk him through the last couple of days and how much he really did trust me. He told me that he really appreciated how encouraging I had been with him even though he was frustrated with him self and how proud I was of him.
My heart broke when he (a 6th grader) told me that then began to walk away. He didn't have to do it. He didn't need to say it. But because he did, it instantly made my thought "failures" from the week transform into mountain peaks and that incredible feeling of hugging someone you care so deeply about, trying to think of words to describe how blessed you feel to have them be apart of your life, but can't...so you just cry.

Nothing really does label it better than raw emotion.