Last night it hit me. Last night while I was in a tube of a shower on the second floor in the quietest house I've ever felt.
I'm going to South Africa.
People have been asking me what my thoughts are on leaving for a month, what my reactions will be, what I look forward to doing or becoming while I am there. People ask me how my heart could possibly handle the heart ache that I am about to encounter... "Are you ready"? At times I feel like they are asking me to predict the future. The truth is I have a soft heart (something I have been told the world needs more of) and I know it is meant to be broken. However that is not what I am looking to. My answer is usually the excitement in thoughts of being able to love every little face I encounter. To be able to talk to that specific little one whom God put on my path or God put me on theirs to discover presence and His love encountered. And it is a very true hope. A hope that He can use me the best way He knows how.
There is something important that I have left out though.
You ask me how I feel. You ask me if I'm alright and if I will be able to handle these things in which are upon me. You may ask these things with a darker stand point on the subject. I would like to be a reminder that God's been there the entire time. We are headed there to amplify. We are headed there to celebrate and love. We are headed there to encourage and be encouraged.
Last night it hit me square in the face. What are my hopes? Amidst these worrisome nerves what are my ambitions for not only this journey but the road that I currently walk down with my own two feet?
I want to thrive not just survive.
Psalm 46:
1 God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come
and the mountains crumble into the sea.
3 Let the oceans roar and foam.
Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!
Interlude
4 A river brings joy to the city of our God,
the sacred home of the Most High.
5 God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
From the very break of day, God will protect it.
6 The nations are in chaos,
and their kingdoms crumble!
God’s voice thunders,
and the earth melts!
7 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel is our fortress.
Interlude
8 Come, see the glorious works of the Lord:
See how he brings destruction upon the world.
9 He causes wars to end throughout the earth.
He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.”
11 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel is our fortress.
Interlude
mmmm.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited to hear stories of thrivin and lovin when you get back.
O God, may we truly AMPLIFY you. May Daria be a large speaker, like one at a rock concert that rattles your insides and blows your hair back, in the coming month. Making a ruckus, all in your name.