Stretching Matters

Firstly, Put this song on:
Hillsong United: Anchor

After spending miles on cruise control in the rental car I was blessed to be upgraded to, my Surroundings changed as trees got smaller and plains got wider. Wind more crisp and blue sky's expanding.

It is so hard for my heart and mind to grasp the realities that have happened in the last couple of weeks. As I sat in a moving vehicle for 11 hours to Salt Lake City I found myself taking decompressing breathes in while singing out continual praise of the direction He has me in.

I have learned over the last couple of years that Goodbyes suck. However the more I lean upon the Lords understanding, the more I realize that these goodbyes are more like, "see ya later". Each person impacts and timing is everything. His time, not mine.

Three weeks ago I was standing on the side of a road that became so familiar over the last 4 years. In the heart of the forest as I stood there doing what I've done most every Friday, waving goodbye to faces on Yellow school buses. Standing next to a wet sign in a wet rain jacket being who I have known for the last 4 years. And here I sit now in Pennsylvania, still me. Still a beloved daughter of God, trusting that He firmly has my hand leading me where he needs me... In Laramie, Wyoming

The last three weeks have been a whirlwind of sights, faces and places that have whizzed by and that have also slowly sunk deeper into my heart.

I drove 11 hours to Salt Lake City on Tuesday the 16th. and then continued on to Laramie Wyoming where I literally shook with excitement as the faces I had parted from 6 months earlier where back in front of mine.

My brother being crafty.

I put down a deposit on an apartment. Whoa. That made things more real than ever. After spending a few days in Denver running in an Ugly sweater race with friends and catching a red-eye to Pennsylvania on Sunday the 21st, I am finally home and enjoying most of my time just sitting and resting. Sitting and resting is something that I am really bad at most of the time so I figured now was the best time to practice. My brother came home for Christmas which was a thrill for my parents and brought back some hilarious moments reminding me how much my brother and I are alike in mannerisms.

Upon the turn of the New Year there are many things that I am completely unsure of. However, one thing that I am sure of is that God is good. All. The. Time. I know I've said it a lot lately but it's like listening to a really good song on repeat only I simply will never get sick of the song of His salvation and unconditional love!
I have been praying continually through this transition and I have been encouraged by so many via God speaking through and all around His creation and the people in it. Since being home though life has continued to move forward, I have been waiting to see how God will be placing the next steps down and what that will look like. Through His grace in working on my patience I have been rather anxious. In the midst of it I surrendered it all and reminded myself on a moment to moment basis that it is His will, not mine. No more bartering with Him. Simply hoping and speaking my desires so that they would align with His.

Upon arriving home to my room and flannel sheets I was unpacking my bags and I found a note from a dear friend:
"Daria,
You have exactly what you need to build God's Kingdom where you are."
"the faith, the hope, the trust, the joy... Everything else will follow."-Matthew 6:33

My dear friends, again, God is good. All the time. And He is FAITHFUL!

Let the Adventure Continue!

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Chapter Books

The rainy season is officially upon us here in the Redwood forest. It seems like each time we step outside the rain begins. Today however it wasn't rainy, it was a brisk blue sky day. As I sat in the parking lot yesterday waiting for school buses to arrive to pick up our students who explored the forest this week, I sat there and began reading psalms. 

"Let all that I am praise the Lord;

With my whole heart I will praise his holy name".-Psalm 103 NLT

Today marks the beginning of my 10 day count down until I depart towards Laramie, WY. Laradise.

My Father God has not been dawdling in teaching. His main subject this month is Patience. I have a tutor, His name is the Holy Spirit. 

While it has settled into me more and more that I will soon be departing and transitioning physically from this season in California I am really excited to be heading home to Pennsylvania for a couple of weeks to be home. The last time I was home in NEPA, I was stuck in a vortex waiting and wanting to get back to this coast. Now so many parts of my heart are looking forward to the rest and the joyful reunions of seeing faces and hearing words describe what God's been up. 

10 days and yet though there is no car in my clear sight that has been brought out of the wood work yet, I know my God is faithful and there will be an incredible story behind His timing and the falling into place of His desires for this journey, not mine. Just because I'm not given a car in my time preference doesn't mean it's not going to happen. I thought of this scenario as a failing in my eyes. Judgement of many but the truth is that God. Is. Faithful. His timing, not mine. 

I'll be departing Northern California to head North East in a car that I don't know yet. A car that God has chosen for me? Or a rental car? Either way God has been providing big things. Big things in the entire reason why I'm heading to Wyoming to begin with. To serve alongside many in the building and cultivating through SROM. I am extremely excited to announce that I am almost to my BEGINNING goal of $1,200 monthly supported! Nearly $60 monthly away currently! The Holy Spirit has been doing amazing things through perspective and teaching and discernment. The ideas and hopes that I put forward are often very different and there are times that I think that I'm beginning to catch on to fully giving it to God and then something happens that triggers my fingers to tighten back around these things surrendered.

 I entered into California, willingly to follow whatever path God had for me here and still does. And through it I am blessed beyond understanding and ability to describe. I'm honest when I say I am so glad that I said yes to Him. I am so thankful that I didn't try to LEAD upon MY own understanding but instead submitted to His will for my life for the amount of time that I have been out here. If I had peaced out when I thought I had wanted, there's no doubt that I wouldn't be headed where I'm prayerfully headed on December 16th. And for every single moment of suffering, sacrifice and dim light, I am grateful and praising the Holy Spirit for helping me to cling and rejoice in every single moment that is Northern California and those who surround it.

My bet is that All of this reality will set in somewhere in Nevada. Anyone have any other bets as to when this transition will feel real? As I speak there are boxes in my room and bits and peices of my life scattered all around this forest. I am excited to leave the things that Jesus wants me to leave here and take the lessons learned with me to be a vessel and a servant. I know I will miss it here. I am reminded of my steps upon the water when I first left PA to journey across to this majestic span of creation. I had no idea what was waiting for me at my destination but I felt joyful for the journey ahead and the peace of knowing Gods faithfulness.

"1 Give thanks to the Lord and 

proclaim his greatness.

 Let the whole world know what he has 

done.

2 Sing to Him; yes, sing his praises. 

Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.

3 Exult in his holy name; 

rejoice, you who worship the Lord.

4 Search for the Lord and his strength;

 continually seek him. 

5 Remember the wonders he has performed, 

his miracles, and the rulings he has given, 

6 you children of his servant Abraham, 

you descendants of Jacob, his chosen

ones." Psalm 105:1-6  NLT

He is so faithful. To bend, break, mend and cultivate my time here along with others coinciding to make more progress on the tapestries of our souls.

-Keep Adventuring

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Unfolding

I was sitting on my flight back from Washington making a to do list of upcoming events and tasks for the next few weeks that are quickly dwindling and wrapping up my time in California. I was wishing I could be able to do all of these things right then and there and have it all be accomplished.

But then what?

Then what would I be preparing for? How would it make me any more present instead of day dreaming?

God has such purpose in His timing and I remind myself of that on a moment to moment basis.
His timing, not mine.
His will, not mine.
His Desires, not mine.
That last one is the hardest by far. Where do our desires come from and where in this walk does it not match up with His desires? At what moment do our desires even begin to look a different shade than His desires? How do we restore those colors and slate to walking and stepping in Gods time? We've never been in control of it all so why do we desire or think that we actually are?

Let's be honest, my own personal will power was completely intimidated and skeptical about this Washington trip, so much so that it almost didn't happen. So much of me questioned my own ability to "convince" people to come on board but that's a true, real good mindset/ heart to have because I literally can't do it. No one would be convinced if it was just me with the motive but see God has the motive. To use me as His vessel and use me to invite, encourage and call those He needs to be apart of it all. Apart of the architecture that is this area of the kingdom building.

Each of us are called specifically because He has made us with these things to be accomplished and fulfilled in mind. He created each of us with the intricate detail of His timing and will for each of us to accomplish these things for His good.

Past and Present

7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of knowing Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss  because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them Rubbish, that I may Gain Christ 9 and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ- the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ- yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3: 7-11

Who are we when we sit in the midst of our own created comforts? How does it forcibly mess with our attempt to mess with Gods will for us? Why would we ever want to mess with Gods will for us? Better yet why would we ever settle for less?
I have realized and spoken of discomfort in my walk with the Lord. It is where God has called me. Within this continued discomfort I seek and find more comfort in Him and His plan for me rather than the low expectations I seek for myself. Clearly He has already led me to far higher expectations for myself than I ever would have imagined. Living a California dream in the Redwood forest at 28. This looks nothing like what I imagined 28 would be like... It's better.

3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."- Philippians 1:3-6 NIV

Just like the expectations I imagined for this trip to Washington were so small compared to what He actually did there. I had the opportunity to meet and visit with incredible people seeking direction and being content in where they are currently in Gods will for them., seeing the blessings unfold on the daily.

Support raising full time can be extremely intimidating or daunting. Typical Thought process seems selfish but that is a tactic that strays us away from reaching out into communities to further connect and allow God to use others as vessels to help to bless therefore seeing in all of this, continually, the only one that can be given credit, is God. Even in the struggle God does not leave our side for a moment. Instead, he intercedes to move the conversation forward such as my friend John did in Samammish, WA

While pouring out this last year of my life and the direction it all has brought me to point in, our conversation went quiet in between other topics of catching up. As I struggled with my timing, God prompted His timing and John asked me how he and his wife could support me. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped slightly. "The Ask" was asked to me. God is so good in his perseverance and encouragement that He plants in each of us. Pointers in love from others constructive  criticism that continues this growth process and continual discovery of who God is unfolding from the debris that are our doubts, flaws and brokenness. Because of Gods will and His continued faithfulness in revealing His desires within others my "Stellar Support Team" has grown in joyful noise and size. Each and every family member on our team has something very specific to teach and learn. I am so excited to see where this next year takes all of us.

I can't thank you enough. I feel like I can't thank God enough for you as this journey continues.

"26 Brothers and Sister, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and despised things- and the things that are not- to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God- that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written:"Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord." -1 Corinthians 1:26-31

-Keep Adventuring

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Life Experience Needed.

Matthew 10:39- "If you cling to your life you will loose it; but if you give up your life to me, you will find it."

I am trying to experience this each minute in each word that I speak to those about the journey that God is bringing me on to fulfill what it is that He is trying to accomplish. I began to experience and see this as my years and opportunities have unfolded in California. People put in my life to share and dream with while his plans are fulfilled in and through each of us.

I am trying to understand the direction and weight of my reactionary process of how God's plans unfold for me. Lately I have lost my "go with the flow" and be joyful regardless. Instead everything is radically up or radically down. Either radically effected or radically unaffected. Big deals out of nothing and ignoring apparent favoritism. I've allowed distraction to get the best of me. And in that I am humbled, reminded and pushed back in the direction that is needed and so important because it leads to the fulfillment in Gods plans, not my own.

Today I look around and see students studying mundane things for high school classes. I can remember studying French at the library with Sam Pride in 8th grade and desperately trying to stay awake while listening to teachers teach seemingly irrelevant things. Doing homework and writing papers that I honestly can't even remember subjects and topics of.

I see the importance of education but why do I feel like the majority of it didn't even stick? As I'm sitting here writing I am thankful for the ability to read and write. Most of my teachers were passionate about impacting students and encouraging them. I'm sure I wouldn't be where I am without teachers who truly cared about my succeeding. Seeing the light inside of me and so many others in their time and devotion. It is something I have thought of a lot.

Things like life skills, love, belief, encouragement, raw reality and strength building through it are just a few things that come to mind when I think of my early education. No candy coating, but instead, tough love that grows us and made me better and thankful for the struggle and succeeding through that struggle. Although looking back, life seemed so much easier then. Things that we face today wouldn't even seem possible if we had not experienced those "impossible" things then.

We have no idea where we are being brought to through all of it. But how blessed is it to be fostered by the wise and courageous to learn and thrive to become better at who God wants us to be?

I don't want to go back to school anytime soon. In fact when I see students with their text books I am so thankful that I'm not in their shoes. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to keep learning. Everyday I question. Everyday we learn something new, everyday we discover and seek to understand something or someone more. How awesome is it to hold that passion to learn? I am continually encouraged by teachers past and present and I also apologize to English teachers. I wish more had stuck with proper punctuation...

But life is a learning experience.

Every Now and Then Realities

Today God has been pushing the point of a recent lesson hard today to make me understand that HE is the only one that can fully sustain.

"10 As the rain and the snow come from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." -Isaiah 55:10-11

While in this struggle there my eyes have widened, my pride shattered and my heart tamed again...and again...and again.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." -1 Peter 2:9

It's funny how easily and carelessly something like a memory can be triggered by a current event. It's terrible and devastating if you allow it to effect you and the repercussions that you hold can make you feel as if you are right back where you originally were.

I have noticed that in this discovery I struggle to let it all go. My instinct has turned into holing it and ringing it until it's worn right through. Closing my heart and mind, burrowing, deeper into stone like mindset that everything and everyone is exactly alike. That the reason I protect these parts of myself are the same reasons why I did way back when because it's exactly the same...Exactly.

I know how wrong I am in this and the truth is that my human heart is so heavy. There are peaks during the day where I am simply too tired to bounce back, I'd rather burrow. What truth is in this? What even in the midst of this pain can I possibly see of that dim light that continually gets stronger the more I allow my hands to be pried from my eyes and light to flood in?

Confirmation.

He continues to confirm this direction that I must follow. While I struggle to believe that I know my heart better than he...

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."- Romans 8:28

I wont lie or deny the truth that I am tired of "bouncing back". So instead of doing just that I will simply lat at the foot of the cross and allow him to pick me up and carry me back or forward of whichever direction his will calls me toward. That direction continues to be nudging reminders of Wyoming. 

I stumbled across another blog today that resembled how I was trying to articulate the churning inside of me. (Listen to the song: Joy) Take a hot second and give it a gander. Let it soak in every now and then realities.

Relentless.

Tonight I can't shake a memory that I've had since college. One that sits in my heart reminding me of the hope of Jesus. Though I didn't know it at the time it was written to me, it has begun and will continue to fall into place with each day that God blesses me with.

It was shortly after I broke up with my boyfriend and headed out to finish the grueling task of my under grad. Moms are so encouraging. I have always been a fan of snail mail. I think that words written are far more impactful when seen that someone took time to sit down and focus completely on the note or letter. She was tender and understood my vulnerability. She had written something that still impacts my life and will for the rest of it. "I know it's hard right now, but know that things will turn out better than you could have ever imagined". Wise words from a wise Mamma.

How true it is That we really have no idea how much God sets us up for success if we would just allow Him to do the work in our lives to grow us and mold us to fit and pursue the things He needs us to accomplish His work. The things He has created each of us so individually to succeed.

"Why am I discouraged?

Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God!

I will Praise Him again-

my Savior and my God."- Psalm 42:11

Doing so changes our views and perspectives. Not just "can" but it actually WILL if we are persistent and continual in our obedience with doing so.

I have been doing 2 sets of push-ups 6 days a week. Monday- Saturday since January. I began with 2 sets of 5 legit push-ups. Every two weeks I up my stats... Then I hurt my shoulder in March so I took 2 or 3 weeks off. I was persistent. Doing them before bed, even when I don't want to do them, I do them. I bring myself to the ground and do them. Discipline began to form, I actually look forward to doing them. It is now September and I am up to doing 2 sets of 17. Legit.

Discipline reminds me of my friend Ashley. The first Summer I spent on the road in 2012 was my first exhausting summer on bike tour. Alarms would ring in the mornings while people snoozed and ignored them, dreading the beginning of the day. There were some sore exhausted mornings when we literally dreaded rising from our sleeping bags.

I would look over at Ashley's sleeping bag and she wouldn't be found there. Every time her alarm went off or if someone woke her up she would instantly spring and leap into the blessed morning. Even if her body was miserable, she would not hesitate. So I mimicked her. I have found that these little areas of discipline have proved incredible possibility in perspective and thriving. To praise God praise God even when you're filled with sorrow or exhaustion, praising God relentlessly. 

I want to praise God relentlessly.

I have learned through physical sacrifice, we gain more. We gain joy, we gain comfort and familiarity in our relationship with God. We build and practice faith and trust knowing that God provides love and watches over us relentlessly. We are human and in being human we are forgetful. The more that you practice something, whether it's a song on piano or Ukulele or even push-ups, if you are persistent you will see results. You will see things fill your brain, heart and body more than you might even realize. Through all of this, ultimately, God strengthens so through these circumstances and opportunities. Why dread it when you can leap in and embrace the moments that God gifts joyfully to us?

Why dread the morning sun of tomorrow when we are only promised today?

"at best, each of us is but a breath"

"You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.

My entire life time is just a moment to you;

at best, each of us is but a breath." Psalm 39:5  

Keep adventuring.

Life Outside The Box

I am an active person. If you couldn't already tell, I really enjoy physical activity. If you have kept up with my blog over the last couple of years you will notice that in order for God to do some pretty insane works in my heart He has had to sit me down and make me still. Through injuries and displacement I have been shown crazy incredible things from bike saddles, hiking boots, couches and dreams.

While I have been suffering from Shingles unable to barely even bike 20 miles, I have been laying, sitting, reading and writing. I have begun the (what most would think terrifying) process of Support raising. Updating my contacts for news letters and setting up face to face appointments with people to talk more about the vision that is Solid Rock Outdoor ministries and why God has called me there.

I mentioned "terrifying" to some in regards that support raising can feel rather tedious and begger-ish. But the truth is that this is such an incredible opportunity and honestly a chance to connect and share this vision with so many more people. building a support team of believers in Christ and in love. Yes the ultimate purpose for this ministry is to equip students in discipleship opportunities while gaining a better understanding for their personal identity as a son or daughter in Christ. It is an opportunity to be apart of something bigger than us. A chance to continue to adventure together.

I am also excited because this provides me with a better schedule with more flexibility to consistently update my support team on the incredible things that God has been doing with in the ministry that He has called me to serve in. Instead of just doing a 2 month long ask or updating people on the next big adventure. Instead it is an ongoing adventure! 

ADVENTURE WITH ME!

I have had a thought on my heart that I was thinking about the other night. 

It is this: Money though it is an earthly need, it is not something that defines us. God defines us because He created us. We should not build walls and borders around who God is creating and growing us to be. In fact it probably causes Him pain to see the alterations and the shortcomings we build around ourselves mainly based off of money or social stats. The thought of who WE want to be versus who GOD wants us to be are two completely different people. Which person outcome do you think will be better? The one in which we struggle to create with our own strength and direction or the one that God has in mind and is capable of creating in us if we would just allow Him to?

We must stop building these walls around us that confine who we are compared to who God wants us to be. Money means nothing. God's bank is never depleted. However it is up to Him when and how finances are blessed among many. So my hope is that I am reminded of that daily. To know that in order to gain anything I must lay it all down and trust and ask continually for God to do His brilliant work in and around me to continue to build the kingdom.

If you feel like this speaks to you (even if it doesn't) check out my support page: 

Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries 

Keep Adventuring.

Woke up in Narnia (Part 4)

My time in Wyoming was extremely impactful on my heart and soul. It's amazing how we can feel so much more disconnected from everyday life and contact when we step away from simple technology and clutter of business. And it is even more incredible to witness and partake in the feeling of connection between God and His creation. Seeing views and spending quality time being told the truths that The Lord has for us in who He is bringing us up to be.

During our time in the Teton Wilderness we stepped into a place that we liked to call "Austria". We wrestled with trails, snow and mud. We wondered when we would actually make it to Cub creek  or if we were actually in the right area that we had anticipated being on the map. The arguments were that there was a trail and that we should follow it but that there was also a clearing and we should just cut right to it.

Creation spit us out into what we called Austria:

We stayed here for 2 days and encountered our first snow. We had made a group decision to stay an extra day to sit on the topics that we were discussing pertaining to servant leadership as well as revisiting the topics of Pride and Unbelief. We actually touched upon map school too, go figure. 

It was one of the many incredible times that the 7 of us spent crammed into a tent while the wind howled outside as we intimately poured our hearts out with opinions and vulnerability. 

These sights overwhelmed out hearts. In the same way God overwhelmed my soul in taking this month in Wyoming to speak loudly and boldly into my life. With the lack of distraction and chaos, I was able to fully focus upon Him. Something that I have struggled with tremendously for the last couple of years while living and working in the same community. There was no boarder line and because of that I had not fully stepped away to focus on the most important relationship I will ever have for eternity. There was a lot of conviction and swelling behind the reality of this that blacked out some major heart issues I didn't even realize I was drowning in. 

 Back in Vedauwoo where "The storm threw our hearts into humility, God gave me a dream that played out with dates and peace. Though I didn't know what the dream meant I was full of praises that God would show me something like this. A possible direction and further calling upon my life. "But the plans of The Lord stand firm forever, The purposes of His heart through all generations". -Psalm 33:11

Commit to The Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans". Proverbs 16:3

Our time in the Teton wilderness was cultivating. During our "Solo time" (we stayed next to one another in tents because of our continued depth in category 1 grizzly country required us to be in groups no smaller than 3), The Lord began to pull my heart strings and unpack more of what I have been doing the last few years. He and I talked about how I was wondering if I just didn't love what I was supposed to be doing with the rest of my life. I told Him how there was simply no passion or enthusiastic drive behind the role I was currently in. After 2 years of God saying no. That I must stay where I was until He called me elsewhere. I didn't know where I was supposed to be headed but I knew deeply that the final destination was not California.

The next morning we woke up to "Narnia":

When I arrived in Wyoming a month earlier, I had fallen in love with Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries. The vision, the people, the area. Through out my course I had realized that it was not just a peak effect of what I was experiencing that would eventually fade after I returned to the redwoods. Rather it was a dim light that was given oxygen and fuel to burn brighter and more abundantly with passion and drive that helped to make it clear that this is a direction that I need to go. Not just A direction but THIS direction. 

This time I could visually see God waving His hands and pointing to Laramie. This time He was saying, "Here! I need you to go this way". 

Upon my return to California I had my meeting with my boss and the meeting played out exactly like my dream. Either way I knew my time was wrapping up in California and I knew that Laramie was where I was headed. I spent 2 full days filling out a full time employment application for the position of Admissions and Customer Support Manager. Why did I apply for this specific job? Because it is a vital role that has been in need of filling to help provide perspective students and their families communicate with our team so that we can orient them and prepare them the best ways that we know so that they can reach their goals of getting on to their course. It is a role that as I look back upon the last 4 years of working in California between the laughs, the struggles, the raw and the joy, God has been preparing me greatly for this specific position to use the tools that He has sharpened and equipped me with to serve Him and help to build His kingdom through Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries (SROM)!

After a month of interviews and a bike tour down the coast of California, I got the call and acceptance letter that I got the job! God is so, SO good! So now the transition continues and you will be seeing these updates as they come! First things first and that is I can't move any further until I finish reading an awesome book called "The God Ask" 

I could not be more ecstatic and also at peace with Gods plan! "Lord let your desires be my desires"

Bless The Lord OH my soul!!

Plenty more to come, but until then...

-Keep adventuring

#RealTalk

So here's a question for you. Have you ever been told that you're crazy? That you are absurd for for doing something or living the way that you do? I follow "Humans of New York" and found this one interview very spot on and you should check it out for a hot second here.

Why do you do the things that you do? What is a reasoning and the fire behind what you seek, pursue, long for and thrive towards?

I have been asked on many occasions if I'm still trying to ride my bike places. Or wondering when I'm going to actually get a "real" job. Why can't I just pick something and just do it for the rest of my life? That's a very simple question. The answer doesn't need to be complex. The answer is: I am a lover of people. That is my full time occupation. Cliche`?

Let me explain the simplicity. The only thing that should matter is loving well. And I am not an expert by any means. When you love, you serve. When you serve you give. When you give unconditionally, you gain. You gain joy. And joy is a blessing, it is everlasting. Most importantly joy is like water. it will always soak whoever is in the splash zone.

I have this friend who I lived with in an apartment. I had an experience that changed my life and this experience made me so happy! And now that I was finished with that season of my life, I was sad and couldn't figure out how to hold onto that happiness. I laid on the floor of her room crying wondering what was wrong with me. These next words that she spoke are etched through out my entire life story and a huge component with in the process that began my discovery of the saving grace of Jesus.

"You need joy. See Happiness is temporary, we experience things that make us happy but over time those things fade. Joy is everlasting. It does not fade. Even when something ends, Joy still lingers continually".


My juvenile self couldn't understand or comprehend at that moment what had just been revealed to me. But because of that it caused me to seek more deeply to discover the difference and understand the meanings.

Because of these ripple effects, I have realized that I want love to be my full time job... Call me a hippie, but it's true! I want to help people to: walk alongside them, share their burdens, hear their celebrations and dance beside them. I want to sit and dwell with them as they ponder the season and seek through the fog as people try to figure out who they are and for what reasons. I want to hug people cry with people and be blown away by who God is with people. The list of this occupation goes on and on and on. Because all of these things bring joy everlasting.

It is not a scale of how much we've done but what those things have done for and in each other.

So what do I want to be when I grow up? I want to love you as much as God loves you and me.

Keep Adventuring.

Here We Go Again

2 years ago I contemplated this crazy idea of riding my bicycle across the United States. And at the time I couldn't even say "my bicycle" because I didn't have a road bike. $5,000 needed to be raised and just the thought of doing something like this blew me far outside my panic zone.

2012 Just+Hope NYC

I was encouraged by many and support came in. GOD PROVIDES. I began my cross country trek. Before I had even finished I discovered within my soul a passion for physical sacrifice and the want to inspire and be inspired through meeting communities to rally and bring bodies together to help countless others near and far. Because of this discovery I had also decided that I was already going to do another cross country tour.

2013 Across America Team Rockaway Beach, NY

My second time across God taught me incredible things about community and began to introduce the concept of "unconditional love". Seeing people from my past tour and continuing to impact and be impacted by many. Sometimes I can't believe my life, honestly. Straight up, Gods got His plans of refinement and growing pains. It is incredible to witness and be witnessed within this discovery process.

And now I am about to begin my 3rd bike tour. This time it is much different. 10 days VS 8 weeks. 11 people. Riding down the coast of California for Restore International. Our tour name: LOVE DOES. Some of these teammates I know and some I do not. I am not fully funded yet, but God is good and He will provided abundantly. I know it for a fact! 

From the time before I new my identity in Christ to a year after re-devotion, I couldn't comprehend how incredible Gods plans have been not only for me but for many others. In the time before I moved to California to the year following, again, I can't comprehend! From before I went to South Africa to after I went the second time, mind blown of who God is and how much my soul yearns to know more and more and devote more of my life to serving Him. And from the time that I first got on my saddle to begin my first 3500 mile trek across the United States to about to begin my 3rd tour with Venture Expeditions, there is no denying that God is Good, all the time! 

Even with being diagnosed with depression, high stress jobs and seasons with people. God has placed it all with in these adventures to continue to show and teach me that regardless, He is faithful. Through bitter loss, and attack, He is faithful. Through finance struggles and loss of direction. He. Is. Faithful

Praise God! From whom all blessing flow!

Here WE go again. Because you continue to ride along side me in this journey. Your support, prayer and encouragement continue to blow my heart and mind away. I couldn't think of a better way to travel!

Thank you again for all that you do! 

2 days after my wreck in NJ, 2013

Prayer needs:

-Funding: $1400 still needed to reach my goal of $3400

-Safety for our team

-Our community and the communities we will be riding through to share our campaign with.


-Keep Adventuring!

Safety First...For Serious (Part 3)

People ask me what my highlights were from my course in Wyoming. Instantly my mind floods with ambition to determine how much time I have to speak and which specific highlights I think about most often VS depth filled moments VS views VS insights. One story that I never leave out is the couple days upon our second excursion to the Teton Wilderness.

Let me remind you that our time in The Voo (See my previous entry) was rather structured yet unstructured. We had a plan and we stuck to it pretty spot on. As soon as we left Laramie to head 6 hours North West, God through our plans out the window. We reached the road we would drive 6 miles to the trail head and camp the night before hiking into the abyss for 10-ish days. We drove about 2 of those 6 miles and found that there was a lovely gate we weren't expecting. After talking to Leslie and her husband Bob outside of their cabin near the gate, who thought we were just some random kids wandering in the woods about to be slayed by Grizzly bears,  we headed back to town to figure a plan out.

Bear School Kev-Kev

We prayed that Gods will be done and that we would seek Him through it all, seeing that He clearly knew what was needed and what He wanted to do was communicate. So after going through some "Bear school" to learn more about how to shoot bear spray and react if a Grizzly bear were to attack or approach our team. After all we were heading into Category 1 Bear country.

We were thinking about pitching our tents right in the nice grass of the US Forest Service but thought perhaps that wouldn't build the best relationship with them. A thought struck my head and my heart that said, "Malinda"! Not just some random name, but the name of a lovely woman who worked at the gas station we had stopped at close to the road with the closed gate. My mind instantly went into Bike tour mode and I told the team we should ask Malinda if we can camp behind the gas station. We hopped into the van with our bear spray and headed back to the gas station. 

Jay hopped out and luckily Malinda hadn't left yet. The gas station was closing for the evening but Jay found her before she left. Now to understand Jay better, you honestly can't always tell what's on his mind or what's happening with him because his composure if priceless. He came back to the van and told us that he had an update for us. We waited intently while he pulled out patience thin and said, "Malinda said we could stay at her church!" 

We followed her to down town Du Boise, WY. and pulled in near her church. She ran in to see that everything was good to go. She came back out and said that she had bad news. That we couldn't stay in the church because there was a cycling team staying there as well... WHAT?! Is this real life?! Awesome. The good news was she still let us stay but we pitched our tents in the back yard of the church and then went over and debriefed the first part of course over some very needed burgers. Bliss.

The next morning we felt ambitious and headed back to the road with the gate that was still closed and decided to hike the 7 miles we needed to get to the Continental Divide. Reason being we only had permits to camp across the Divide, so either way we needed to get there. We hiked the 4 miles on a dirt road to Brooks Lodge to the "trail head" and stopped to use a real bathroom one last time in the 1920 built rustic, STUNNING, lodge. 

We hit the trail and as soon as we got to the bottom of the hill near the lake, of course, it began to rain. So we started taking our 70+ lbs packs off to grab rain gear. Now when you're in category 1 bear country, not only is it protocol to have the safety on your bear spray off at all times, ready to shoot. You must also be on top of "bear calls"... We spent the next 10-ish days yelling "Hey Bear"! You can imagine we became creative.

Nikki's eyeball on FIRE!

Jay took his pack off to put on his rain jacket and his pack fell on his bear spray which then caused it to barely spritz. But the spritz that came out went into Nikki's eye. We spent the next 10 minutes flushing her eye out. The reason? Bear spray is 10 times more potent than normal pepper spray.

We encountered more storms, more rainbows and again our minds were blown by the terrain and the views. We began hiking at 9am-ish and made it to Brooks Lodge by around 1pm. From Brooks Lake to The Divide it was 3 miles. We arrived at our destination literally on the other side of The Divide at around 9pm. Because of the time of year that we were hiking in Wyoming, there was still a lot of snow but there was also a lot of mud. so that created ankle deep marshes and thigh deep snow every couple hundred feet.

By the time we made it to where we could set up camp we had set up our tents just in time before the rain began. God's good like that. 

So we had been thinking about food for hours and couldn't wait to cook some good hardy beans and rice in the rain. Then the lightning and thunder set in and we settled for a handful of trail mix so that we could just go to bed. We carried our food bags down to the bear hang areas so that the food wasn't near us to deter Grizzlys. So we headed a little ways down and across a creek. Yelling, "Hey Bear"! the entire time. As we took the bags off our bodies to secure them for the night, I took a bag off my back and it landed on the bear spray that had its safety off in my pocket. There was a long loud spray noise and we all dispersed...

This night just got better, right? Luckily no one got a direct hit. We all just were consumed in the cloud of bear spray. Nikki was hit for the second time in less than 12 hours and Kevin shouted saying that it felt like someone had rubbed a jalapeno into the side of his lip.

The direct hit went all over my had. My head lamp looked down at my left hand and it was doused in orange liquid. The force of the jet stream caused it to shoot up my jackets all the way up to my elbow. We got soap quickly and I tried to wash it off in snow...My hands were on fire for the next 3 days. Let me remind you that this was the first night of our 10 day back packing excursion...WOOF!

The next morning I washed my jackets the best I could and several days later was using my puffy jacket as a pillow on our solo time in tents and my face began to burn... I cussed pretty loudly in my head to say the least.

So moral? Even if you're in category 1 Bear Country, ALWAYS keep the safety on when you are on the WMPC Team 2 in June, 2014. Clearly we couldn't handle the responsibility. But luckily we never actually encountered Grizzlies... Directly at least.

The Storm (Part 2)

"Yet he did not waver through Unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God." Romans 4:20
"Immediately the boys father exclaimed, "I do believe; Help me overcome my unbelief!"- Mark 9:24
"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall". Proverbs 16:18
"In his pride the wicked man does not seek Him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God".- Psalm 10:4
"Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice".- Proverbs 14:3

Let me paint you a picture...

Imagine eating dinner outside with your cooking group. As you begin to clean up and your instructor gives you a time to meet back up for this evenings teaching on "Pride and Unbelief", you turn behind you and square on you see this massive, gross, soaked black cloud. Literally it is about to burst with electricity and wetness.

Imagine our teams faces as we see it rolling toward us and begin to wonder how we will continue with this particular lesson. Jay, our instructor, tells us a few encounters with storms while we begin to "Bombproof" our kitchen/ eating location and begin to put on rain jackets. Jay begins to pray, hands up toward the storm and sky. "Lord Jesus, I pray that you would physically move this storm and completely move it from our vicinity. I pray that you would teach us and exemplify upon this teaching on Pride and Unbelief and provide a teaching and learning opportunity in your Holy, Holy name, Amen".

Jay and Olivia, in the middle of bomb proofing, don't budge but instead watch as the wind begins to pick up and the cloud bellows toward us. As students we begin to put on our rain jackets to prepare for the coming rain. However our teachers exemplify pure faith in being obedient to God in NOT putting their rain jackets on. We begin to lean against the wind on this flat slab of Granite and while this cloud bubbles and curdles, the lighting becomes more elegant and golden.

Now really begin to picture these details:
Off to the right you look and see that in all of the wind and darkness there are glory rays piercing through the clouds where there is a sunset beginning beyond this storm. Still straight in front of us is this very real storm, this conflict within our hearts clearly reflected upon the wind that God has provided for us to feel and feel Him stripping this unbelief away from us. This storm begins to sway to our left while it continues to break apart on the right. In front of us our hearts and minds are being blown to bits as we begin to worship and praise The Lord in the palm of His creation in His wild land of Wyoming. We are spread out and you look to your left, This storms darkness is now swaying more than ever to your left moving toward Cheyenne, Wyoming. In the darkest part of this repulsive feeling, in the middle of this raging storm you see a rainbow illuminating vertical limit. You fall to your knees because you know tangibly that God is very present in this moment. You thought at first that maybe, Just maybe it was by chance this storm began to move around us but when you see that ROY-G-BIV you can't control your knees and you fall, tears overflowing in awe.

Our team spread out experiencing our heavenly Father in the ways that He has called us to. The ways that He had planned this evening out long before we had even been in existence.

Then you remember seeing those glory rays and within all of this commotion, you almost forgot to look. Truthfully everyone had. We become so focused on the darker aspect of what our fate should have been. The lightning, the rain that didn't even spill a single drop upon us. We rip our eyes back to the right. "Jay!!! Look!!! Look at the Sunset! You're name! It is written"! You can't believe it, your team can't believe it but there it is, Jays name written in the clouds above the sunset. J-A-Y.

You begin to realize that God just took the lesson of Pride and Unbelief in His own hands and let Jay have the night off. Instead He overwhelmed Jay by answering above and beyond anything that we could have ever imagined. Who does that?! A loving Father. A Fathers love that is UNCONDITIONAL.

Can you imagine all of this? Can you believe it?...

He is jealous for me...And for you.

Believe it, because this really happened...

These Sights and Great Heights...Part 1

"The mountains are calling, and I must go".- John Muir

Left to right: Andrew, Olivia, Emily, Kevin, Bridget, Rachel, Daria

The mountains speak indeed but the words that come from them glorify God more fully than I had ever imagined. 

"God called me, so I went."- Me and many other faithful servants who follow God on the daily and sometimes it's not the direction we WANT to go, but God NEEDS us to go in. With this being said, I went to Laramie Wyoming not really knowing what I would be getting into.

Truthfully, It is very hard for me to even compartmentalize what happened in this last month of revival, growth and discovery in what God knew all along would happen.
So I have an idea. I feel like one long post wont do my experience justice or make an impact worth lasting. So I will be writing posts as segments of my course and specific highlights that impacted me and those who were on the course with me.

I got on a plane and left California with a checklist of what was requested to be brought with me for a course that I really wasn't completely sold on. Between building lesson plans for topics I knew but didn't know how the topics should best be taught and meeting strangers in a random new location (one of my favorite things) I was pretty torn on how to even approach specific feelings on how best to react to this new unknown.
There were five students:
Kevin
Andrew
Bridget
Rachel
Me
There were three instructors:
Olivia
Emily
Jay
I was thinking from a leader perspective the things that I needed to work on and strengthen myself more in. However, God had better plans. My perspective was completely different than what His need for my life really was. With this in mind with in the 1st day alone my world was rocked to see what type of community God had placed me into and the intentionality of those who were facilitating the course. The genuine love and longing to be in Gods creation and understanding Him and who He is making us into on a daily basis. On top of that focusing on who and what we can be to one another with soul focused upon Him. The who and what is Jesus and Love. Genuine Christ like love. and my world was beautifully wrecked by the end of day 1. This was a full 3 1/2 week course mind you!

One of the first questions that was asked was this: Why do we do wilderness? Jay asked us to list as many people in the bible as possible that retreated to the wilderness to seek God. Paul/Saul, Jesus, Elijah, Ezekial, 12 desciples, Abraham, Jacob, Israel, Joshua, Jonah, Hagar, Job.

We took two days to prep our things, sort through gear and be oriented on how the first part of course would run. Efficiency was a huge component and my thought process and perspective already began to change and my respect levels rose tremendously for what SROM (Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries) was all about.

The wild can be pretty wild. Gods creation can rock your world in an instant. The cool thing is that He doesn't even need mountains or meadows or rock faces or lakes or oceans to awe us or woo us. But He knows our desires and what pleases us because He's created us with these things in mind.
It is not simply a beautiful or harsh place to be it is a place that holds answers and promptings from God. In these places we must go outside of ourselves and the hard casings that have formed around us via electronics, white noise and distraction. When we began to strip these things away, I quickly began to feel a sense of guilt. There was unstructured time with in my day that I hadn't experienced in almost 6 months. Literally, I sat and stared at a tree for an hour and a half during out "Time Alone with God" (TAG time), thinking, not writing, or reading or praying. Just staring.This self understanding quickly caused me to redefine my role with in my job as a servant and as a daughter of God. How can I ever pursue intimacy in a relationship with God if I can't even designate time daily where I am FULLY focused on Him. Not partially focused. But fully focused and not feeling guilty for it? I needed to begin to let go of these insecure imperfections of pleasing those who I was afraid to let down. I needed to become more human. First step admitting I am human and allowing myself to just be. Baby steps...Baby steps.

Through out the first part of the course we spent a lot of time on rocks. We learned hard skills relating to Sport and Trad climbing. Anchor set up and belay rescues. We spent our time in Vedauwoo, Wyoming. A majestic part of Gods land where the volcanic rocks are shaped like potato chips and the granite cuts your hands deep. But man is it good climbing and absolutely unreal looking. Miles upon miles of stunning views and rocks so big we look like micro ants.

In the weather, cracks and intimate discussions we discovered more of ourselves in these places. I am pleased/thankful to say that our team was already so vulnerably strong and humble in so many ways. We were all wondering what it is God was specifically teaching us on this course and more than ever it is so many things. One of these many lessons was to love who ever He puts in our lives completely and entirely, Unconditionally. Whether for a day, an hour, a week or the full course. God teaches in incredibly blessed ways.

While in "The Voo", we encountered a lot of different things. We experienced warfare and blessings. We encountered wildlife and crazy storms. We bid farewell to one of our beloved instructors, Emily, and welcomed Jay back to the team after spending a week battling pneumonia.

Clearly I can't fit life into a blog post. But I can say that this is only the beginning. This is just the intro into a beloved love story of how God carried His sheep and brought them in closer than ever.

And I can't wait to tell you more...

-Keep Adventuring

Rag-a-muffin

Lately I have been finding myself stumbling. Stumbling over what doesn't even exist. Future things that I think will happen. Things like failure. Things like the unfaithfulness of Gods promises that will never exist.

I leave in a week and honestly right now my mind set it wishing that it were to do something easy like get on a bike with a group of people and cycle my heart out for others. Countless hours on a bike with a bible and journal and faces God has placed there to encourage and be encouraged. With destinations that help me to blend into the back ground so that I am not the one being focused on.

If I'm honest I would give almost anything currently to ride my bike clear across the country than to sit and climb out of the messes of myself in Laramie Wyoming. The last thing I ever want to do is focus on my flaws and my weaknesses mixed with struggle and dark corners that so desperately need light shed upon them with in the jagged corners of my heart.

 Wilderness Ministry Professionals. How could I ever be this if there are some many parts of me that are completely broken, torn and drowning? It is just that. God calls those who are exactly like me... Or like you. "Rag-a-muffins" We are broken misfits who half the time don't even feel called or welcomed to the land of misfit toys. We are burn't. We are frayed and we are self draining.

This post is not something that I look for affirmation. compliments and encouragement are not things that will repair or make everything easier. God has not called of this life to be easy. He has called of it to be worth it.
I am not trying to look to who I will be after these experiences. I am not trying to look to the deep tissue body mesage that I'm fixing to get after my body has tolled itself from this summer's up coming events. I am looking for God. I am looking to try and clear the fog from my eyes and actually look to Him for every minute of suffering. For every layer that is stripped away and every inch of me that is exposed to the elements of sin, darkness and struggle. To let God repair me so that He can use me as a vessel to help heal others.

I leave in 1 week. There is much to do. The crucial thing that is often missing from moments of preparation is trust. My God you are with me. Always.

With in all of this, as I take each shaky step continually feeling like led because of fear, I am reminded that I can not move forward in anyway until I do this course. I can not move forward in my own faith and as a leader with out proper instruction on how to lead better. The only way to lead better is to be humbled and gain better perspective of everything around us. Those layers being continually stripped and shed.

It is this. I don't want to be forcefully stripped. As God blesses me with more days in this life I don't want to hold onto these layers. I'd much rather shed them freely. Letting these things fall off of me seeing and feeling the comfort of God freeing me from that sin and destruction. Freeing me from blinders and allowing that focus and true purpose of the seasons He plants me in. Not only to grow and be strengthened by others roots around me that are rooted so deeply in Him but also so that my roots can be planted firmly so that I can also be that secondary strong hold to someone who is seeking their strength from The Lord as well.

I ask that you be praying for my team and I as we embark on the 1st of June to become better leaders in the back country. Teaching each other the best ways to plan, encourage and live in a meaningful community while trying to accomplish teachings and learning on a biblical standpoint. With in these teachings there will be heavy back packs, high altitude, rock faces and tired feet. Elements and things with in us that will be stripped off and thrown to the wind.

Pray that God would equip our Leaders on this course to empower encourage and be bold in what God has called of them to do. Pray for our safety and pray for our discovery process.

I thank you again for your support whether it be financially or spiritually. This step clearly can not be skipped. It is more of a foot bridge than it is a stepping stone. God has made it very clear that Wyoming must happen before anything else can move forward. So I hope to be able to update you again soon in what God has been revealing and stripping from us on this team in the back country mountains of Laramie, Wyoming.

Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries.
srom.org

Letters welcome:
617 Plaza Ct.
Laramie, WY 
82070











Keep Adventuring